We’ve had guests over recently, so if there’s one piece of craft-ready material I have an overabundance of, it’s empty toilet paper rolls. (Everybody poops. And apparently they all wait until they come to my house.)
Luckily, I have just the craft for such an over-abundance:
The caption of this popular pin says to cut eyes in toilet paper rolls and stick glow sticks in them, then nestle them in the bushes.
Surprise surprise, the actual blog post gives different instructions (seriously, where do these captions come from?), and those instructions involve colored cellophane, electrical tape, and Christmas lights. Fuck that shit. I am lazy.
In this case, that means I’m going with the caption. (Have you noticed that when the caption differs from the actual source, the caption is usually much, much easier? Maybe it’s because most people are like me: lazy shitbags.)
This project comes in the nick of time, because the pumpkins I carved last week got moldy and fly-ridden in the warm humidity of our pre-hurricane weather. I couldn’t stand the smell anymore and had to throw them away. I was even going to bring them to a Halloween party this weekend, but was not willing to have fruit flies in my car for forever in order to do it.
My dear husband (Mr. Spock to you) contributed alternative decorations for that party, though, so don’t worry.
Anyway, ahem, I was completely out of creepy glowing things for my front porch.
So I made eyeballs out of toilet paper rolls.
Walla. Glowy things.
Of course, if you use glow sticks and no electrical tape, your results may vary… mine ended up looking a little like robots with energy glowing out the sides of their heads. But close enough.
My crafting ability is scary. Muhahahaha.
You crack me up! Love it. Nice penis btw. LOL The creepy eyeballs look good. Look forward to the next post; entertaining as always.
Why is Mc. Kinky Spock drawing a penis? Thats really all I need to know to get me through the day. Thank You
tyntiff2012 I would also like to know how the penis ties into halloween. I could use an excuse to decorate with some!
LindseyTucker tyntiff2012 I read once in a home decor article that penises are appropriate for all seasons.
Pintester LindseyTucker tyntiff2012 I wasn’t sure in any other house holds but they are certainly welcome in mine! I have been known to run through the house and yard a time or two yelling ‘THE PENIS IS COMING? THE PENIS IS COMING!’ Thank fully we live in the country…otherwise..akkkkwardddd!
Challenge: Instead of cutting out eyes, use that penis as a template. Glowing penises in the bushes are far scarier than eyes. Do I have to create a website and pin it to Pinterest to get you to do it? I will, if I have to.
pakorasandpasta DO EET!!!! I for one thinks that is a most excellent pintester project. I’m sure the homeowners association will find it equally amusing.
I really hope mr. Spock is making a penis template for dip to go with the plate of chips. Who doesn’t love a good penis dip?
It may or may not be your fault that recently my use of the phrase “fuck that shit” has tripled. You probably just reminded me how much fun it is too say
EmilyVoorhis I am personally a fan of “Fuck that noise”
You actually did a rockin job. I fully expected to see something with the goo from the glow sticks exploded all over Mr. Spock. That would have totally made his decoration much more roll on floor xrated funny. ARGH it’s a neon exoploding panis!!!
Dude, you’re a fucking riot. Where have you been my whole life? I’m so doing this, I have the same issue with people pooping at my house.
Step One: draw a dick on a plate; Step Two: hide the plate in a pile; Step Three…um, profit!!
Finally! A craft that takes all of 2 minutes to complete and costs damn near nothing. And a bonus penis plate. Life is good.
I agree, less is more. But I guess simple instructions give you the freedom to be flexible and get more creative if you wanted to. Good work Pintester!
P.s. I nearly died with laughter when I saw the decorations your husband was making… That’s a :bone” if I ever saw one!
P.s. I nearly died with laughter at your husband’s decorating skills – that’s a “bone” if I ever saw one!
What? Is your husband drawing a penis? Is that for the “peeping tom” that you are hiding in the bushes. Get it…bushes! HA!
Not taping the sides was a blessing in disguise. Leave that shit in the bushes and you’re all decorated for Christmas.
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Dick on a plate. Best decoration ever. For EVERY occasion.
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Penis plates. Oh Pintester, you keep me young.
we did this and the little jerks stole them all from our bushes. next year im gonna use them as bait ans scare the hell out of the little shits