If there are only a few things you know about me personally, one of them should be that I love popcorn. If there is ever a snacktime to be had, I will choose popcorn. I have been known to eat an entire bucket-sized movie popcorn (with butter) and then take the movie theater up on the free refill. I’m not even kidding.
Now, normally, I’m sort of a popcorn purist. Popcorn, butter, the end. None of that cheddar shit or the crap in a tin with Santa Claus all over it. But for Pintester, I made an exception.
Yep, this is marshmallow caramel popcorn.
I mostly had the right ingredients.
Except that instead of big marshmallows, I had little peppermint-flavored ones.
This is not a big deal, though, because I can eyeball it. I’m excellent at guessing the amounts of ingredients that should go in a thing… especially if I’ve halved the recipe first. (I’m also a very good liar.)
Close enough for government work, I say.
Yeah, there’s a whole stick of butter in half of the recipe. Not kidding.
While all that was melting into a pleasing goo, I popped some popcorn. Here’s my actual Pinterest win pin about popcorn. You don’t have to buy bags of popcorn, especially if you’re going to coat it in goo yourself and don’t care about the flavor. Nope. You just take 1/4 of a cup of popcorn and throw it in a lunch bag.
Then fold it over and zap it.
In my microwave, if I zap it for 2 minutes and 30 seconds, it turns out about right.
But a little burny popcorn never hurt anyone.
I made two batches because it looked like there was too much goop for one batch.
Other than the disturbing shade of pinkish brown, I didn’t figure this would be too bad, so I gooped it up.
It was a sticky mess when I mixed it all up, but you know, it was pretty darn tasty.
It wasn’t until I sat down in my comfy chair (and in my comfy pants, if you want the whole truth) that I discovered the problem…
I had failed to de-seed the popcorn. That is, I had not taken out the unpopped kernels. My grandma calls these the “old maids,” and I swear to you I never made the connection between unpopped and old maids until I was composing this post. And I feel the need to give my grandma a high five now.
Anyway, I failed to remove them, and the marshmallow-sugar mixture cemented everything pretty well together, so eating the popcorn was an adventure, where “adventure” means you might break your tooth on any bite. Eventually I gave up, partly because of the possibility of ruining my dental work and partly because that shit gave me a stomach ache.
Still, I woudn’t call it a complete fail, especially if you are smarter than me and think to remove the old maids (unpopped– heh) and don’t mind a little sugar tummy upset.
Not something to my fancy because just like you, I like the old fashion type popcorn. Salty.
I made a version of this with white chocolate chips and craisins, it was really good, but I too had a bit of a fail in the melting of the choc. chips in the micro, they looked like they did not melt, so I left them a little longer and they turned brown on the bottom of the bowl, still tasted ok, but were not pretty.
I love this! I make it all the time for my four year during our family movie nights…but you had a lot of steps to yours…I am lazy as well and take full advantage of the microwave so with mine I just throw 1/2 cup of butter, 8 “big” marshmallows and sprinkle some cinnamon sugar on top, pop that bitch in the wave for about 2 minutes…mix it up good and then pour it over my popped popcorn…yummo!
The whole time in thinking “Old maids?? What the fuck?” I totally didn’t get it till you clarified at the end. Thank you for enlightening my dumb ass. I know I can always count on you buddy!
We called them old maids growing up as well, I didn’t get the “unpopped” thing until today…
I feel like an idiot because I still didn’t get it at the end…about five minutes after reading this it finally clicked hahaa
I’m still lost here. A little help
Old maid= woman who has not had sex retaining her “cherry”, hence un popped cherry.
Unpopped corn= completely intact, much like the old maid’s cherry. Hope that helps 🙂
I looove popcorn, in any fashion. So I may actually attempt this. I have the same comfy pants as you!
Yum, except the old maids (half popped, which is too bad you missed eating those on their own – we share them around in turns in my house; and not-popped-at-all, which are tossers). I saw a pin for peppermint caramel corn actually, so you totally rock pinterest, even without trying. You should own it.
You know, I could probably eat and enjoy this if it wasn’t for the fact that the picture looks like they are advertising semen-corn, and I’m sorry, but that stuff doesn’t belong in my mouth. Glad you had the courage to try it, though!
Ew. Thanks for that image, cannot un-see!! 😛
Oh…I need to take me eyes out and scrub them in bleach. I wish there was an un-read option on your comment.
I’d try semen corn.
I made this (with regular marshmallows) and it turned out amazing! Yours sounds good too. I’m sure peppermint was interesting on your popcorn. I will have to agree with you though, the “old maids” (never heard that until now, hilarious!) do definitely cause a problem. Next time I made it, I was sure to take those out. Totally worth it.
So what do you call the ones that started to pop, but didn’t seal the deal?
Megan, that is hillarous!
Mind blown over here. I have always called them old maids too! Never connected the dots. And I usually go gutter. I have to share this new knowledge with everyone now.
I made this with plain marshmallows, and it turned out really good! I think the flavored marshmallows were the problem.
ooh a pintester twofer. I like it and I think i’d be willing to try that with cake sprinkles. old maids heh, go grandma!
Never heard them called ‘old maids’ before. Your grandma is awesome. I would also give her a high five. And you’ve inspired me with your flavored marshmallows. I want to try this with cinnamon ones.
Had a sugar coma by proxy just reading the title. Though this was essentially a “win”, I would be calling camels, driving the bus, calling the walrus, shouting the groceries, spraying gravy, and every other euphemism for yakking known to man. The stuff sounds vile.
my God, i never made the old maid>unpopped connection til just now either. Wink wink, nod nod to my grandma, too. O_o.
lol we called the ” old maids” the “Bastards” (yes not politically correct but what is now days) lol there are also bastard fries at the bottom of the mcdonalds bag. Surprisingly I remember calling them this at a pretty young age haha guess that was one curse word we got away with!
It looks good but an entire stick of butter!? Btw I heard somewhere that if you keep your popcorn in the freezer you won’t end up with any old maids when you pop it. Don’t know if it’s true cause I’ve never tried it but maybe it’s worth a shot.
Im at a loss for why you continually find it so incredibly difficult to follow directions made easy enough for a preschooler. In what rational mind does peppermint, caramel, and popcorn sound like a good combination? Pintester, I hate you, you are retarded, and I don’t know why I keep coming to your website. Im going to go kill myself now.
This isn’t for real, right? It can’t be. I’m going to assume it’s not. In which case: HAHAHA! Excellent joke, man. I particularly love the subtle self-deprecating humor you added by not even reading the post to find out that the peppermint flavor in fact did not mess up the recipe. Retarded preschooler, indeed.
Ok so it no joke looks like you poured pepto bismal all over your popcorn
Oddly enough, I think your version looks much more edible then the
pinterest version. On a side note, I’m ashamed that you ruined such
perfectly good popcorn with marshmallows. Shame on you. You could have
had marshmallows in your cocoa and popcorn deliciously on the side. While you watched Avengers again.
I also never made the Old Maids connection. We would call that crescent rolled in our house because when I made crescent rolls from the can last month, I was bored and read the directions. You’re supposed to shape them into crescents….seriously? I have never done this, nor have I seen someone do this. But they are called crescent rolls so it makes sense. Also, the popcorn in a lunch bag is the best thing I’ve ever learned from Pinterest.
Mint popcorn. (Shudder. I think I just vomited a little into my mouth.)
Why is everyone hating on the peppermint thing? Have they not had popcorn balls at Christmas time with crushed candy canes in them???
I don’t usually comment, but this post inspired me to do something more than just come, read, laugh and go on about my day.
My reactions to your post is most easily described as a hillbilly guffaw, complete with snorting coffee out my noses, all the while trying to explain to those around me- co-workers, boyfriend, random patrons nearby at Starbucks- what the ruckus is all about and eventually just telling them about your blog and instructing them to read it.
(Hello, free advertising!! You. Are. Welcome.)
Except for today.
Perhaps, it was your mention of your Grammy and your need to high-five her (so sweet). Or perhaps, it was the new recipe for microwave popcorn (who knew???) or maybe it was the pic of your cozy feet in front of the fireplace with comfy pants and super sweet popcorn and the mention of tummy upset. Today’s blog was somehow different. Today’s blog reminded us that not only are you a funny person with a strange sense of acceptance of your ability to eff things up (something I struggle with in my own personal “Type A world”), but today you reminded us that you’re a great writer.
Kudos to you! Keep up the great blog!
What a wonderful compliment! Thank you so, so much! And thank you very much for telling your friends about my blog, too. It is SO MUCH APPRECIATED! THANK YOU!
I make this one all the time, only I use regular large marshmallows. It is delicious! You should try it again when you have regular white marshmallows!
[…] of penis jokes around here, but leave it to a dude to toe the line. Here’s a comment from the Marshmallow Caramel Popcorn […]
I’ve made a very similar version of this and too forgot to remove the “old maids.” other than that it was delish!
Oh God I’m such a dork. I’ve always called them “Old Maids” but never made the “unpopped” wink wink connection. Even after reading your post, twice. The comments finally helped me out. I’m usually not so clueless.
Good work! I tried it for a gift for my Dad for Valentine’s Day and it went HORRIBLE. I still gave it to him though. My mom eventually threw it away.
Sorry but I would be a NO for vomit coloured food. Yuck. Plus I’d need dentures after the teeth all broke and cracked.
You lucky woman. My grandmother was a lot less subtle about her jokes. (All dirty, all the time.) I’m 33 and I STILL have random flashbacks. I didn’t get the jokes then, but I sure do now! Every day is an adventure when your subconscious could quite possibly throw out a trauma bomb and fuck up the works of your mental-happy-place-factory.
OMG your grandma is awesome! That is some clever terminology there 😛
What a fantastically hilarious blog! I love this idea! I wish I loved your language as well but I can’t have the kiddos around when I read it so, sorry, gotta bail! 🙁
(The first one doesn’t look like marshmallow caramel… )
This is my family’s favorite snack. I have been using this recipe since your post in 2013. I’ve been tempted to try the peppermint version, but every time I make it, the kids demand the original…because they love it THAT much. Love your blog. Hope you post more soon!