It’s been requested, and I do my best not to disappoint. That’s right, guys! It’s a new COCKnails! Please to enjoy the below video (and if you can’t see the video, click here), but don’t actually try the drink, ok? It gave me the shits.
Also, please subscribe to my channel! I love you, thank you!
60 Comments
I’ve done it before with wax paper, the wax seemed to make it so it didn’t stick quite as much and I also had to make it kinda think so there was some..strength? to the “decal”. That cocktail looks like it would murder me…. I am not a vodka gal.
HILARIOUS!!!
I got it to work! You just have to let it sit and dry for several hours. (I did mine overnight) Then you’re able to peel it off fairly easily. Then you put a drop of polish where you want it and press it on; seal with a clear coat. I did a cat mani, I’m only slightly insane.
OMG! That was your best (worst?) video yet!! I hope your “medicine” helped your cold go away.
I agree, best video yet!
Beer and orange juice is one of my favorite morning drinks (vodka is a bit much for the am). I call it a poor mans mimosa. But don’t waste good beer on it.
Ooh! We used to drink those all the time, PBR and orange juice and every single person I have ever told this has given me a disgusted WTF face! We called them White Trash Mimosas.
Ohh light beer (miller lite) 12 oz, amaretto 1.5oz, and orange juice 4oz… LUNCH BOX! It’s delish’!
Skip and go naked is dalish. We ditched the hop off the title long ago. Many a bachelorette party featured this drink – and naked man playing cards – sure to induce nudity, am I right? Hard to say if the hangovers (and loose bm’s) next day were from skip & go naked or the many shots.
I was a little disappointed that you chose zebra stripes over penis nail stickers.
it has worked for me too It helps to use stiffer plastic and paint it on fairly thick its not a vidoe project though cause you have to let that shit dry forever
I think that a lot of things could be fixed if you use something stiffer and lay it on thick.
My zebra forgives you…. though you may have freaked him out a little
LMAO! You need your own TV show!!!! I would watch you 24 hours a day!
Oh my sweet baby jeebus that was awesomeballs. And I am sending you a link to the drunk celebrity hall of fame, to which you could now be included. http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/the-drunk-celebrity-hall-of-fame
“Dear zebras, I’m sorry”
…dying.
So … you got cocked but not nailed. I’d still consider it a win.
like a rusty screwdriver. you’re adorable.
Sonja, do i detect some “creamy, sticky, gooey frosting. Mm” on your blue T-shirt left over from the Cinamon Roll Waffles pintest?
That would be the toothpaste that I immediately dribbled down the front of my shirt, right after deciding that my outfit was suitable for video shooting.
I hate when that happens! LOL…it did fit in with the previous blog theme tho, that’s why I thought I would mention it. 😛
I am an advocate of topless topless tooth-brushing because of moments like this
….
I’ve never heard this drink called “Hop Skip and Go Naked.” We call it Summer Brew. Use one can of frozen lemonade concentrate, 4 cans of beer (we usually use Bud Lite because it’s cheap but not too cheap), and about 1/3 of a 750 ml bottle of vodka. Sometimes more vodka. But we like our drinks strong 🙂 It’s delicious!
We used to drink this during my undergrad days. We called it “Strip Down.” We had slightly different proportions though: we used the lemonade concentrate, then filled the can up with vodka, and added 2 beers (usually Natty Light…’cause we were poor, and you don’t care about quality at that age). I guess in college vodka > beer = nudity.
I’m not familiar with the Hop Skip and Go Naked, but it reminds me a lot of Beergaritas, which is a cheap light beer (anything between Bud Lite and Tecate works), with limeade and tequila. Mix to your taste. It’s the only way I can handle tequila anymore, after suffering the classic, stomach-churning tequila hangover once in my life.
Skip the plastic baggie and paint your designs directly onto some wax or parchment paper. They’ll peel off so much easier once they’re dried. Also, you can just paint a nice little rectangle, peel it off, and cut shapes out using a scrapbooking punch. Throw a slow drying top coat on your polished nails, stick your new little decal to it, and seal it in with a quick dry topcoat.
Oh dear, that’s not good…is that a college dorm party drink? You could do the zebra thingy straight on your nails and call it a tribute to Jackson Pollock though: drunk and cultured…my favourite combo.
So I wanted to watch this at work with captions and no sound, the captions make absolutely no sense and it is wonderful! I highly suggest watching it that way, I was dying laughing when I wan’t confused as all fuck.
I am bored and did this and OMG thank you lol! It was hilarious. It brought up Bill Clinton twice and since she was referring to blow jobs, I was laughing my ass off. I am so glad you discovered this lol!
This video makes me think I’d rather have a COCKnails party than a pinterest party. Get loaded on a gross beverage and then paint something horrendous on my nails. Other party guests optional.
I’ve never blown something for so long!’
TWSS
Classic cocknails, but I would not have drank the cocktail…beer…ewe!
Oh I fuckin’ laughed so hard!!! 🙂
You should have another cocktail to celebrate pounds lost from the shits!
The minute you said, I’m gonna paint a design…you knew there was gonna be a penis somewhere!!! LoL!
OH MY GOD. I just rewatched this already funny video with captions because some one else recommended it, and it was absolutely hilarious. It was soooo incorrect and the suggestions were crazy. It brought up Bill Clinton not once but twice. How appropriate lol! Also, the cc foreshadowed your shits. For some reason, it translated something you said at the beginning (I think it was about the beer) and it said pooped and exploded. I kept the sound on also and you didn’t say anything like that. Oh, I died. It is like it is scripted to be hilarious and it was so fitting! Please watch it with captions!!!!
Resistance plants injectable racism? LOL!!!! Thanks for the suggestion to watch this with captions!!
Toooo funny with captions! My favorite part was when she said “more vodka” and the caption read “meeting tomorrow”
Remind me not to watch this when there are little children around. 20 sec into it, my 4 year old asked, “Mommy, what’s a cocknail?” D’oh!
Uh, yeah, you definitely need to not go any further than 20 seconds in because it gets much, much worse.
As I watched this I was concerned that there would be no belching, but you made up for it at the end.
OMG this was the first video I have seen of yours, I get the emails all the time and love them…. I do believe I need to have a cocknail party instead of a boring old Pinterest party
I’m finally accustomed to your rough language…some people need to say those words and others dont. Not my call, just saying. But, unless you are praying, please don’t use God’s name…some people take the first Commandment seriously. Thanks.. I do think you are hilarious but it’s not the language that makes you funny.
Yeah it is. Some people take the Comedy Commandments seriously too…cock jokes are funny, profanity is funny, belching/farting is funny etc etc. You choose to read the site, please don’t try to modify its content.
Agreed, don’t mess with the content. Sonja, we love you just the way you are. Losers who wanna fucking bitch, go away!!!
This is not a site you were forced to come to or forced to read – you came here of your own free will, and continue to come here, knowing the kind of language used here. If it offends you, don’t continue to come back here; but don’t come here and complain about what you are reading. This is America, and Freedom of Speech is one of the top rights we have! Although I myself try hard to not used God’s name in vain, that is for ME, not for me to impose on others. If you don’t like it, there are other sites to get a chuckle…but none as funny as this one!
Oh! That’s what you look like after you had too much Mexican food huh? 0:44
Whoo your hair is looking long!
Oh also, this is a beverage us college kids commonly call Pink Panty Droppers. However, we usually make it on a much larger scale. 1 30pack of Keystone, 1 handle of vodka, 1 handle of everclear, and 1 large pink lemonade powdered mix. Viola! I smell another cocknails ep coming soon…
Would wax paper work better than a plastic bag???
LOL! You’re fucking hilarious… and awesome! 😀
P.S. – PENIS!
Yes, you are my girl crush….
Yes, you are my girl crush.
OMG you just kill me!
after painting the design on the baggie, put top coat over it. then i put it on top of a turned on lamp to dry faster or use seche vite top coat. peal the design off with tweezers.
“now i got to edit this mother fucker”….i just died a little bit
You are so hilarious! I love this blog….anywho…I did the dry marbling technique. You paint a bunch of colors on a plastic baggie, I had ziplocs if that makes any difference, and swirl the paint around with a toothpick. It took fucking forever to dry! I got tired and went to bed, the next day it was dry and peeled off the plastic no problem. It actually looked pretty awesome after spending at least an hour applying it to my nails. I would never do it again though because it stayed on for about a day before peeling off. Oh well…I felt pretty artistic for a day, too bad the only people who got to see it were my kids but they appreciated it. BTW, you are one brave soul to try that cocktail!
Oh my gosh, I love it!! I think you and Hannah Hart from ‘My Drunk Kitchen’ are related!! I adore you both!
She’s somewhere between Hannah and Mamrie Hart.
If you want the polish on the plastic to work, let the polish dry over night so it fully dries and peels off really easily. Don’t leave it on for over 4 days otherwise it just cracks when you peel it off. Trust me guys I’m pro
My friends call it a porch crawler. I thought they had drunkenly made it up, but it was delicious when they made us up a batch.