I’m trying to eat healthy, dudes. I utterly failed yesterday. It was Easter. There were chocolate bunnies and casseroles and deviled eggs and jellybeans and Havarti cheese and I was weak. So today I made a healthy snack from Pinterest.
These are called sour patch grapes, or glitter grapes.
Just so you know, I sort of consider myself a Sour Patch Kids connoisseur. For one thing, they’re pretty much the only thing I will eat at Cracker Barrel. (I call it Crapper Barrel.) Also, they are delicious. So I was a bit skeptical about this pin from the get-go. Nothing tastes like Sour Patch Kids except Sour Patch Kids.
But as grapes and sugar-free Jello have considerably fewer calories than Sour Patch Kids, I thought I’d give them a go.
I couldn’t find green grapes at the grocery store, so I figured red grapes would be the same diff.
I had some leftover Jello from when I bought a bunch to try out my Jello orange slices experiment and then didn’t make all of it, so I got some of that out.
I know, I know. It’s orange Jello, and I realize it should probably be some flavor more complimentary to red grapes, but gimme a break, guys. I wasn’t going to go to the grocery store specifically to find red-or-pink Jello. Orange will do. And, as always, if you don’t like that I’m fucking up the recipe, feel free to send me the proper ingredients:
4711 Hope Valley Rd Ste 4F
Durham, NC 27707
Not even kidding a little bit.
On my first grape-coating attempt, I used a spoon as the original blog post suggested. It sort of worked.
But it wasn’t really that fun, and when I’m doing something weird like rolling grapes around in dry Jello, I feel like it should be more fun. Really, anything involving rolling anything (anyone?) around in any sort of Jello should be fun, am I right? (That was a joke for those of you who like the ladies. The rest of you can re-join me in the next paragraph. Straight dudes and lesbians, I hope you are now thinking about your girl of choice rolling around in Jello. You’re welcome.)
Anyways, for the next round of grapes, I just tossed ’em around on the plate until they were well coated. It was super fun. I was totally pretending I was on a cooking show tossing skillet things in the air and lighting things on fire.
Also, this technique worked just as well, if not better, than the boring spoon way.
I made a bunch and then stuck them in the refrigerator for an hour. I don’t know why. The blog post told me to. Really, I think it wouldn’t have mattered either way because the Jello was not really that wet, and it was never boiled, so it didn’t have to… you know… Jello itself.
So they looked about the same when I took them out of the refrigerator. Which is to say they looked a little bit like black olives rolled smooshed orange something.
Not really that appetizing. My fault. I should have used pink Jello, I realize. Don’t make these for a potluck. (And don’t make me send you to the Oh, You Don’t Like It? page, because I totally will.)
As to the taste? Nothing like Sour Patch Kids. In fact, they tasted strangely similar to… grapes. The Jello didn’t really come through except as a texture thing that wasn’t entirely pleasant. You know how sometimes if you order scallops you get a little bit of sand in a few bites? Yeah.
They weren’t terrible, but they are not a drastic improvement over plain old grapes, either. So I think I’ll be sticking with plain old grapes in the future.