We’ve been at our paleo-ing again. And I’ve had a few fails these past few weeks. Made some carrot soup that no one liked, and I ended up throwing it away (after peeling and cutting like a billion carrots– kill me). Made some chicken salad with avocado instead of mayo. I thought it was good. Others were unconvinced. And yesterday I made butternut squash soup, which I ate two giant helpings of, but was not a hit otherwise.
These, though, were a home run. (I wonder why…)
The claim of “healthy” sparked some debate among my followers on Pinterest.
Anna Nuslock: Just because it didn’t come out of a robot’s butt in some Kraft dungeon doesn’t mean it isn’t bad for you.
Well, yes, true enough. And I always look at these paleo desserts a little side-eyed, because desserts are really not the point of paleo. But sometimes you just need a damn piece of chocolate, and when you do, these are comparatively less bad than a Hershey bar, I guess.
You’re supposed to have coconut oil for this, but I’m not a real paleo person so I never have coconut oil. I know, kick me out of the club. I thought I might even have to use (gasp) olive oil, because I was running low on sunflower oil.
In the end, I just decided to make half the recipe and not use the olive oil, so I only used the sunflower oil.
I also have no fucking clue if my honey is raw or not. Unless it says “RAW” in giant letters on the bottle, I don’t know how you’d know. Mine is probably imported from China and has chemical bee diarrhea in it or something that is really bad for you but they still sell in our grocery stores because it’s all a government conspiracy. I don’t know.
I also used Hershey’s cocoa instead of raw cacao powder. I am sorry.
So when I started this whole thing, I figured I was super smart for using sunflower oil instead of coconut oil because I didn’t have to melt it or anything and the honey mixed really well with it.
Everything else mixed really well with it, too.
The stars aligned, and I even managed to find mini cupcake papers for my mini cupcake tin, so I could still make 12 cups even though I halved the recipe. (Of course, the mini papers don’t really fit in the mini cupcake tin, but you do what you can.)
Did I mention that I only decided to do this like 15 minutes before I actually did it? So there was no time for, you know, hunting down raw honey and raw cacao powder and coconut oil and cupcake liners that actually fit in the tin. That shit’s for wimps anyways. This is rogue baking.
Well, if you even count this as baking, because I put it in the freezer at this point.
The blog post said 10 minutes in the freezer should do it. It didn’t. And, in fact, when I came back for it hours later it was still pretty melty. That’s when it dawned on me that the properties of coconut oil that make it solidify when cooled are probably pretty helpful in this instance. Oops.
Still they taste pretty damn delicious, even if they’re messy and probably full of bee poison and impure cocoa. Imma eat ’em.
“Just put the whole thing in your mouth at once and your fingers won’t get sticky!” (that’s what *he* said, lol)
Bravo, Jen. Bravo. I heard that a lot in college.
These were yummy. Just be sure to eat them straight from the freezer, lol.
Honey, are you feeling okay? No poo jokes? No penis jokes? Only one diarrhea joke? Are you sick this week?
I found it refreshing to hear a joke about diarrhea. And I am now singing this great song in my head from back in the day:
When you’re walking down the street and you hear something neat diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you’re climbing down the ladder and you hear something splatter diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you’re driving in your Chevy and you feel something heavy diarrhea, diarrhea.
And now all of you bitches have that song stuck in your head too. You’re welcome.
One more verse to add (credit goes to my dear old dad):
When you’re running for home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea diarrhea.
FYI, I’ve been creeping here for a while and this is my first comment. I’m not sure what that says about me.
Stupid Discus ate my comment 😛
Okay, tl;dr version:
1. Who cares about appearance? They tasted awesome, so you rocked it. 🙂
2. As a paleo chick myself, you and I have the same theory for paleo desserts. No, they’re not health food but they’re a damn sight better for you than Hershey’s. And some days you just need freaking chocolate.
3. Coconut oil actually rocks. If you’re interested in trying it, get expeller pressed — it doesn’t taste like anything and it’s fabulous in the kitchen. Additionally, you can tell what time of season it is by the state of your coconut oil! If it’s liquid, it’s summer. If it’s solid, it’s fall-to-winter. See? Multitasker! You can’t go wrong with it.
Unfunny, educational comment alert:
Raw honey will actually say it’s raw on the bottle and instead of being a pretty honey color, it’s more white because it hasn’t been processed. It will have bits of honeycomb in it, too.
I have a great butternut squash soup recipe. We call it “ButtNut Soup.” Yum.
I am liking this comment simply for because of the name: ButtNut Soup deserves a “like.”
No matter what I do, I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that these peanut butter cup-shaped chocolates don’t have peanut butter in them.
A big bite of disappointment.
They DO have PB in them, do not dispair! At least, the picture shows PB and when I make them that’s what I use. You just mix it in with the coconut oil, cocoa and honey instead of having a PB filling.
I keep coconut oil in the house because that’s what we use to make “real movietheater” popcorn. Seriously.. your arteries will harden as you eat the stuff. But it tastes good..and we only eat it about 3 times a year. I’m not a big fan of “fakeout” food. If you want cake.. just eat some.. so you won’t consume the entire contents of your fridge and cupboard trying to satisfy the craving.
Your arteries will not harden from eating coconut oil. *facepalm* No oil is good to shovel in your face, but as oils go, coconut is REALLY good for you.
I got ya.. I had read that it was high in Sat Fat and I remember seeing someone say it was bad. I did some more research and saw that even though it is high in saturated fat.. it is apparently some subset of “good” saturated fat. Everything in moderation though right?
I make these all the time with the coconut oil. And, ’cause that’s how I roll, I mix in a little mint flavored stevia extract to up the ante. (up the ante – huh huh huh) Since I’m not a paleo chick (sometimes you just need processed cheese) I like to add a little PB2 in the middle and feel all superior and shit.
The rogue baker, lol !
Try these paleo cookies they were a hit for my family. I didn’t tell them they were anything except peanut butter cookies.
Spoiler I used peanut butter instead of almond butter. http://cupcakesomg.blogspot.com/2012/08/paleo-chocolate-chip-cookies-and-why-im.html?m=1
They didn’t have freezers in palaeolithic times.
lol Or coconut oil.
Use Crisco shortening. I loathe coconut oil, water, flakes, etc… basically anything coconut so I use Crisco, which just makes *insert foodie buzz words here* people fucking nuts but I figure they suck the joy out of my day with their ‘rules’ so why shouldn’t I have some fun with them? Sometimes I even mention “bought at Wal Mart” if I don’t think their heads are spinning enough.
But seriously Crisco, or even avocados.
I bet butter would work & be awesome! Not a bit paleo tho — tuff … I’d try them with butter but I’m scared of all the calories…. might do it anyway
I bought coconut oil to be healthier. How many times have I cooked with it? 0. How many times have I shaved with it? Lots. I have to go over the same spot 2 or 3 times but my legs are silky smooth. 🙂
My dad is a beekeeper, I’ll send you a bottle if you promise not to waste it on fucked up pins! Every drop of that real shit is liquid gold yumminess.
I have these in my fridge right now and I effing love them, but you do really need coconut oil for them to set well. Even then though they melt pretty much instantly. I’ve made them with both refined and unrefined coconut oil and while you do taste a little bit of coconut (aka suntan oil) with the unrefined version, you can get both kinds at Wal-Mart these days. Screw Paleo eating, these are just tasty chocolate awesomeness.
[…] brought up her page & immediately knew I was going to do the Paleo Fudge Cups. Who could resist a bowl of chocolatey goodness?? I say bowl because I was doubtful it would make […]
chemical bee diarrhea! This makes me laugh heartily out loud by myself.
I just found your blog and your posts are hilarious! I’m not really sure what the difference is in raw honey, but I do think it’s worth the extra money just because it’s freaking delicious! Thanks for keeping everything so light-hearted though, some people get obsessed over paleo.
Hahahahahah Rogue cooking. Omg I love your blog and am beyond excited to try this recipe!