Stinking cute.
Image from Pretty Providence
And you know I have a hard time resisting things that are stinking cute, like these edible Christmas wreaths.
Plus, I was headed to some holiday parties this weekend and needed something to bring along. (Don’t worry– I know me. I had a backup plan, and that backup plan was booze. If I succeed? You get cute edible Christmas wreaths. If I fail? You get booze. Win-win.)
I got some warnings when I pinned this:
1. It takes forever and ever.
2. It is a pain in the butt.
3. Your fingers will turn green.
Heedless of the wind and weather falalalala motherfuckers. I decided to do it anyway.
I was almost foiled immediately upon my trip to Target when I could not find Cornflakes and I spent ten minutes in the cereal aisle muttering, “How can you not have Cornflakes, Target? Jesus. That is un-American, and I hate you.” (No one thought I was weird because you can pretty much do anything you want in the grocery aisles of Target at Christmas and you will be behaving better than anyone else in the store.) And then I found the lone box of Cornflakes at Target and, lo, it was ginormous.
So now I have lots and lots of extra Cornflakes, which I do not eat, you know, in the traditional sense with milk on them and stuff. I’m one of those stuck up carbs-are-bad-mmkay people… First world problems, guys. (Apparently I have no problem eating carbs when they are slathered in more carbs, dyed green, and called festive, though.)
I was supposed to melt butter and marshmallows on the stove, but I did that a few weeks ago and I don’t think it’s a better process than melting them in the microwave, so I opted for that. (Also, my pan was dirty.)
The recipe definitely calls for 6 cups of Cornflakes and 4 cups of mini marshmallows, plus some butter, but when this all melted down, it did not look like enough. However, I am unwilling to trust myself in these matters and figured the recipe must be right, and I mustered up my marshmallow faith and just went with it.
I got to use my industrial strength green food coloring again, too, guys. Weee!
(That’s like three drops, seriously. Stuff’s amazing.)
I was beginning to doubt some of the above mythos about these treats at this point because this whole process had taken like maybe five minutes so far. Not the most involved thing I’ve ever done by far.
I do think, though, that I was right about the Cornflake to marshmallow ratio. This still seems like not enough marshmallow sticky green shit to me.
Also beginning to doubt the one about turning my fingers green because I still hadn’t even touched the stuff yet, so my fingers were unaffected.
The next step was to pile globs onto parchment paper. No problem, especially if neatness doesn’t count.
And then the recipe said to spray your hands with cooking spray and form the Cornflake globs into wreath shapes. The hardest part was figuring out how to spray both hands… and then I realized I could spray one hand and then rub them together, because I have a goddamn college degree. Sigh.
Anyway, still not difficult, nor was it time-consuming. Yeah, the wreaths look a little bit like they’re still hanging up in April and starting to turn brown, but I blame that on the poor marshmallow coverage.
Know what the most time-consuming part was? Putting on the Redhots. The little red shit-pellets refused to stick properly (again, I blame not enough sticky marshmallow mess) and I pushed too hard and un-formed some of the wreaths and had to re-form them.
Still, I think this whole damn project was done in well under half an hour, and guys, if you can’t handle half an hour to make Christmas treats, you probably shouldn’t make Christmas treats, just sayin’.
Also, my fingers did not turn green. I am disappoint. I was hoping to at least get a funny story out of that.
Um, so, in conclusion, to all the people who warned me this would suck real bad: I don’t know what you’re talking about, and you should have more faith in me, and also, quit your bitchin’. It’s Christmas, for fuck’s sake.
42 Comments
We could add marshmallow vodka… that should help. I had one of those little buggers at the par-tay and they were tasty as well as pretty.
College degree. LOL. Good job, how do they taste???
Nicely done! I remember my mom making these when I was a kid. But she used Frosted Flakes. (Even more carbs for ya!)
I was at one of those parties and encountered the wreaths in question. I feel bad because on seeing this post I thought, “Wait? Those were made by the Pintester? But they looked normal and tasted good!” (Actually, your raindeer cookies were good last year too. Maybe Christmas cookies are your talent.)
They looked not just normal, but in fact adorable. And, as many others have said, tasted like rice krispie treats.
Ugh, stinking cute? Really? I hate that expression. And you said it twice.
Motherfucking cute.
Better now?
Because she totally needs to write her blog based on what YOU like.
Suck it. It was all okay when everyone was bitching about her saying “moist”. I am entitled to my own opinion.
At least she didn’t say ‘totes’. That shit makes me crazy.
How do they taste???
So, let’s think of all the great ways out favorite pintester could have dyed her fingers green? One wild, drunken night with Oscar the Grouch? Got a bad spray tan and decided to dye your hair green to rock the Oompa Loompa look?
Funny, I bought Corn Flakes last week to make these myself. But I will eat them all myself, so I probably should just not make them.
” It’s Christmas, for fuck’s sake.”
This reminded me of a Xmas tale from many years ago. One Xmas night, we decided to go see Titanic in the theater (see, told you it was a long time ago). I believe I was about 10 and my brother was 13. We were standing in line and we started to pick at each other and horse around, like you do. My mother looked at us and said, “Knock it off, you two. It’s Christmas, for Christ’s sake!” Everyone in line just turned and looked at her with the most horrified looks on their faces. Hilarious.
“I am disappoint.” Hello, English degree.
It’s ok if I use improper grammar ironically. Says me. 😉
Fair enough. 😉
Red Hots are gross you should have used red M&Ms. Amateur mistake. Otherwise it’s a cute Christmas craft I think
Shweet! Now I have something to do with the rest of the giant box of cornflakes I bought to make this (that I have yet to make): http://www.pinterest.com/pin/193021534002937511/
Holy shit. Or, as we say in the South, “good lawd.”
You’ve been failing at failing as of late. It confuses me. Granted, that’s probably not difficult.
That’s funny because I just leave them in globs instead of forming them into wreaths. When my daughter complains I tell her that they’re sprigs of holly–and to quit her bitching.
Cornflakes covered in green marshmallow goo, with a couple of red hots stuck on, does not tickle my palate at all. You didn’t say if you ate any, but if I were you, I would spray those little motherfuckers with shellac, attach a hook, and give them to people to use as a tree ornament.
Here is what you do with excess corn flakes: turn them into Honey Joys! http://www.kelloggs.com.au/en_AU/honey-joys.html
These are the sort of things that get made for kids parties (at least they are in Aus, don’t know about anywhere else) and they literally taste of what the ingredients are, ie cornflakes that have been coated in honey, sugar and melted butter. what could possibly go wrong?
If you leave them in little piles, you could call them lawn clippings. If you add little brown M&M’s they are lawn clippings with rabbit turds. Now you have something for Easter!
My family has been making these for the past 35 years or so (but we are lazy and just make one really big wreath and people can cut out slices). So, for everyone asking how it tastes… it tastes like a rice crispy treat. The cornflakes don’t really change the taste to me – not surprising since they are both drowned in the butter/mashmallow mess. I personally like the contrasting slight spice of the red hots and will steal them from other people who don’t and pick them off (yeah, I’m not picky).
Yes they’re cute…but are they delicious? I have a very small allotment of calories to spend on festive carbs and I’ll be damned if I spend them on something that isn’t heaven sent, baby Jesus blessed, and wise-man delivered DELICIOUS. Just my personal Christmas cookie rule 😀
They are not delicious. My aunt makes them and sends them with her Christmas card every year and they are not tasty at all,
Aint nobody got time for that.
This from a chick with 14 decorated Christmas trees.
So, maybe 5 cups cereal to 4 cups mallows? Or 5 cups mallows to 6 cups cereal….maybe pending how many wreaths you want to make. Did they stay soft and gooey like a crispy treat?
I LOL’d like crazy on the bus when I got to the blurb about spraying one hand. I don’t know why but that cracks me up! Put that college degree to good use!!!
Use the rest of the cornflakes to make bacon cookies! http://www.hungrybrowser.com/phaedrus/m042403.htm
I made crockpot chex mix the other day and now I have three HUGE boxes of cereal that I won’t eat. Why do they make these cereal boxes so damn huge? Or better yet, why don’t we have a choice? Smaller boxes, Cereal People. Smaller boxes.
Hubby’s mom used to always make these at Christmas. (I must not let him see this post, or his sweet tooth will attack yet again!)
Yours turned out exactly the way they were meant to. If you take a close look at the pin, you’ll see uncovered bits of corn flake on those too. The photo’s just been shopped within an inch of its life. If a food really turned out that radioactive looking neon green, I’d be a bit skittish about trying to eat it.
Because everything becomes a Doctor Who reference around me:
You need to make honey crackles!
Two words, green teeth.
I remember when I was about 16, I went to a potluck-type 4/20 party, because I lived in an awful beach town in Florida, and that is what we did. Anyways, someone made these. Only, they made them with marijuana oil or butter or something. And they tried to shape them like nugs of weed, but instead they looked like big, sticky, green poops.
We ate them all, naturally.
But now I look at your front page and I keep thinking about the gooey pooey balls I ate 10 years ago and I had to tell you what you’re associated with now: Gooey. Pooey. Balls.
http://www.brennabombshell.wordpress.com
They look like boogers to me.
They look like alien anus to me. Not that I know what alien anus looks like. But these are not cute.
Our family has always made these too. We also add vanilla extract for a yummy richness. Instead of the pain of forming wreathes, we just make blobs and call them holly leaves. The red hots fit well in the nooks and crannies.
I’ve just found your blog and am loving it! Thank you.
I use to do this when I was in elementary school! It was so fun 🙂