Ok, ok. You guys have been begging for this one…
Image from Live, Laugh and Love with Lana
Yeah, apparently you can whiten your teeth with activated charcoal. Only slightly less disturbing is the fact that they actually sell activated charcoal for you to ingest.
If you can’t read that, it says that it recommends you take 2 capsules 2-3 times daily. It doesn’t say why the hell you’d do that, except that it’s not intended to help you if you’ve accidentally poisoned yourself. Okaaaay. Anyway, it makes me feel a little better that you’re actually supposed to ingest this stuff, since I’m going to be rubbing it all over my teeth.
And, by the way, here’s the “BEFORE” of my teeth.
Not great, but I’d give myself a solid “mother of pearl” as opposed to, you know, “buttered popcorn” or something. Please to ignore the weird hair pieces sticking out of my head. It was hot as Satan’s sweaty asscrack here today, and therefore it was a top-knot day. Also, I’m on day 2 or 3 (I forget) of the same hair-washing, and it’s finding the funk.
The instructions didn’t say much about how you’re supposed to do this, so I opted to open a capsule and dump it in a little dish, then spread it on with a toothbrush. Not knowing how gross this whole proposition was going to be, I opted for a toothbrush I didn’t plan to use again.
Really, you could probably do this just by biting open the capsule and, you know, rubbing it around with your finger or something. It’s pretty straightforward. Your spit makes sort of a disgusting black paste out of the whole thing, so you don’t even need to add water. Spit is nature’s water I guess.
Wait.
Water is nature’s water. Whatever. You know what I mean.
Many charcoal selfies ensued.
(That last one is definitely my favorite. I think it’s the neck veins that really make it work. The forehead wrinkles don’t hurt either. Also it’s fucking terrifying, FTW.)
The rinsing part was honestly the most disgusting. I fell asleep when I watched District 9, but unfortunately not before the dude vomited black alien goo all over his birthday cake. That’s kind of what it looked like. Fortunately, it came off pretty well. I mean, like, better than red wine usually does, so I’m ok with it.
The real question: Did it work? I shall let you be the judge. I did the exact same color correcting on all of these photos (namely, I hit the “enhance” button in iPhoto), so don’t go accusing me of Photoshopping the evidence.
19 Comments
They look a little brighter. I’ll stick with using it for bloating.
The activated carbon it’s used to stop diarrhea, but 2-3 times daily? as in “several days”?How can that person be still alive??
Water is nature’s spit. 😀
It does work! It just takes a couple days. I left mine on for like 2 minutes once a day for a week and damn my teeth were WHITE!
I did it daily for a week, and now I do it twice a week. It really does work. My teeth used to be the most horrible yellow colour from years of neglect and general disinterest in oral hygiene. The charcoal method showed results within a week, and hasn’t increased sensitivity like typical whitening methods. You’ll never get the bleach white celebrity look, but it definitely gets rid of surface stains.
I do this! I even blogged about it! 🙂 It really works for me…. although I haven’t been great with the upkeep.http://myhippiesoul.blogspot.com/2014/02/last-night-i-rubbed-charcoal-in-my-mouth.html
I’ve heard you take charcoal tablets with asprin and a lot of water after a night of drinking to ensure a no hang over next day. It will absorb alcohol, just like treating overdoses in the ER
Except you shouldn’t take an NSAID after ingesting alcohol because it can cause stomach bleeding and ulcers….
I know you mean “goo” or “goop” and not “gook.” Because the Pintester definitely doesn’t use derogatory racial terms on purpose.
OMG. I seriously had to go look it up. I did not know. I thought it was a synonym for, you know, goo or goop. My bad.
I didnt know either.. but they list both uses here http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gook
To be fair, it’s not just a racial slur, ya know. It does mean goo or gook. So… there. 😐
you have really nice teeth and gums! just thought i’d put it out there 🙂
I love the scary picture. It reminds me of The Trunchbull from Matilda.
Hey, I think it worked!! 🙂
I wonder if this will work on tetracycline stained teeth? Hey it can’t hurt right? My teeth were three shades of gray before I bleached the hell out of them all night every night for six months and I got good results on the top teeth, but the bottom teeth (which thankfully don’t show when I talk or smile) still have a pronounced gray line at the gum line. Ugly. I’m going to try this charcoal, because it’s cheap and easy and I like cheap & easy!
did you professional bleach or a home kit or strips? I did professional bleaching but not only did it not work, it freaked out a tooth and I had to get a root canal/crown. Now I am afraid to go near dental bleaching of any sort.
Gotta try this on Halloween!
I just have to say that you are hilarious. I laughed so hard at the faces you made in your photos–beautiful teeth by the way! I tried the charcoal and did see a difference. This web site has some benefits of charcoal:
https://draxe.com/activated-charcoal-uses/
A lot of people follow Dr. Axe–I’m just not sure how legit he is and I don’t like that the site keeps asking for your email. P.S. Be super careful about mentioning the evil one’s name, even in jest! (Yes, I’m superstitious).