Whiten Teeth with Charcoal

6 Posted by - July 2, 2014 - Hair & Beauty

Ok, ok. You guys have been begging for this one

Yeah, apparently you can whiten your teeth with activated charcoal. Only slightly less disturbing is the fact that they actually sell activated charcoal for you to ingest.

what to do with activated charcoal

If you can’t read that, it says that it recommends you take 2 capsules 2-3 times daily. It doesn’t say why the hell you’d do that, except that it’s not intended to help you if you’ve accidentally poisoned yourself. Okaaaay. Anyway, it makes me feel a little better that you’re actually supposed to ingest this stuff, since I’m going to be rubbing it all over my teeth.

And, by the way, here’s the “BEFORE” of my teeth.

mother of pearl

Not great, but I’d give myself a solid “mother of pearl” as opposed to, you know, “buttered popcorn” or something. Please to ignore the weird hair pieces sticking out of my head. It was hot as Satan’s sweaty asscrack here today, and therefore it was a top-knot day. Also, I’m on day 2 or 3 (I forget) of the same hair-washing, and it’s finding the funk.

The instructions didn’t say much about how you’re supposed to do this, so I opted to open a capsule and dump it in a little dish, then spread it on with a toothbrush. Not knowing how gross this whole proposition was going to be, I opted for a toothbrush I didn’t plan to use again.

ingredients to clean your teeth with charcoal

Really, you could probably do this just by biting open the capsule and, you know, rubbing it around with your finger or something. It’s pretty straightforward. Your spit makes sort of a disgusting black paste out of the whole thing, so you don’t even need to add water. Spit is nature’s water I guess.


Water is nature’s water. Whatever. You know what I mean.

Many charcoal selfies ensued.

charcoal selfie 1

charcoal selfie 2

charcoal selfie 3

charcoal selfie 4

(That last one is definitely my favorite. I think it’s the neck veins that really make it work. The forehead wrinkles don’t hurt either. Also it’s fucking terrifying, FTW.)

The rinsing part was honestly the most disgusting. I fell asleep when I watched District 9, but unfortunately not before the dude vomited black alien goo all over his birthday cake. That’s kind of what it looked like. Fortunately, it came off pretty well. I mean, like, better than red wine usually does, so I’m ok with it.

The real question: Did it work? I shall let you be the judge. I did the exact same color correcting on all of these photos (namely, I hit the “enhance” button in iPhoto), so don’t go accusing me of Photoshopping the evidence.


Whiten Teeth with Charcoal
Article Name
Whiten Teeth with Charcoal
The Pintester: Willing to put black stuff all over her teeth in the name of SCIENCE.


  • Susan July 2, 2014 - 10:11 pm Reply

    They look a little brighter. I’ll stick with using it for bloating.

  • Daniela Rossi July 2, 2014 - 10:13 pm Reply

    The activated carbon it’s used to stop diarrhea, but 2-3 times daily? as in “several days”?How can that person be still alive??

  • Jeannette McDonald July 2, 2014 - 10:28 pm Reply

    Water is nature’s spit. 😀

  • AmberH July 2, 2014 - 10:30 pm Reply

    It does work! It just takes a couple days. I left mine on for like 2 minutes once a day for a week and damn my teeth were WHITE!

  • Carolyn July 2, 2014 - 10:44 pm Reply

    I did it daily for a week, and now I do it twice a week. It really does work. My teeth used to be the most horrible yellow colour from years of neglect and general disinterest in oral hygiene. The charcoal method showed results within a week, and hasn’t increased sensitivity like typical whitening methods. You’ll never get the bleach white celebrity look, but it definitely gets rid of surface stains.

  • Jessica July 3, 2014 - 8:39 am Reply

    I do this! I even blogged about it! 🙂 It really works for me…. although I haven’t been great with the upkeep.http://myhippiesoul.blogspot.com/2014/02/last-night-i-rubbed-charcoal-in-my-mouth.html

  • Cheri July 3, 2014 - 6:08 pm Reply

    I’ve heard you take charcoal tablets with asprin and a lot of water after a night of drinking to ensure a no hang over next day. It will absorb alcohol, just like treating overdoses in the ER

    • Madamoizillion December 10, 2015 - 12:18 am Reply

      Except you shouldn’t take an NSAID after ingesting alcohol because it can cause stomach bleeding and ulcers….

  • Virginia July 3, 2014 - 7:52 pm Reply

    I know you mean “goo” or “goop” and not “gook.” Because the Pintester definitely doesn’t use derogatory racial terms on purpose.

    • Pintester July 3, 2014 - 7:56 pm Reply

      OMG. I seriously had to go look it up. I did not know. I thought it was a synonym for, you know, goo or goop. My bad.

      • Eleanor Perry July 12, 2014 - 2:55 pm Reply

        I didnt know either.. but they list both uses here http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gook

        • thatpandabitca August 18, 2014 - 4:57 am Reply

          To be fair, it’s not just a racial slur, ya know. It does mean goo or gook. So… there. 😐

  • jodo July 10, 2014 - 2:23 pm Reply

    you have really nice teeth and gums! just thought i’d put it out there 🙂

  • Melissa B July 16, 2014 - 11:44 pm Reply

    I love the scary picture. It reminds me of The Trunchbull from Matilda.

  • scrapendipity July 18, 2014 - 10:20 pm Reply

    Hey, I think it worked!! 🙂

  • luvnaz July 19, 2014 - 1:42 pm Reply

    I wonder if this will work on tetracycline stained teeth? Hey it can’t hurt right? My teeth were three shades of gray before I bleached the hell out of them all night every night for six months and I got good results on the top teeth, but the bottom teeth (which thankfully don’t show when I talk or smile) still have a pronounced gray line at the gum line. Ugly. I’m going to try this charcoal, because it’s cheap and easy and I like cheap & easy!

    • CatWhisperer August 6, 2014 - 5:37 pm Reply

      did you professional bleach or a home kit or strips? I did professional bleaching but not only did it not work, it freaked out a tooth and I had to get a root canal/crown. Now I am afraid to go near dental bleaching of any sort.

  • Sanna Henriksson October 11, 2014 - 6:05 am Reply

    Gotta try this on Halloween!

  • Helen July 28, 2018 - 2:45 pm Reply

    I just have to say that you are hilarious. I laughed so hard at the faces you made in your photos–beautiful teeth by the way! I tried the charcoal and did see a difference. This web site has some benefits of charcoal:
    A lot of people follow Dr. Axe–I’m just not sure how legit he is and I don’t like that the site keeps asking for your email. P.S. Be super careful about mentioning the evil one’s name, even in jest! (Yes, I’m superstitious).

  • Leave a reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.