If you missed it, I sent out a newsletter email this week with the subject line, “Penis Fart Anus.” (Subscribe if you wanna.) We call this “filtering,” meaning everyone who doesn’t like penii, farts, and anuses (ani?) unsubscribes and I am only left with subscribers who actually, you know, like that stuff (and, by association, like me).
Almost 100 people unsubscribed and, of those, 24 filed complaints with my email service provider. This is the most unsubscribes I’ve ever had, even when I drop f-bombs in the actual email. The power of subject lines, I guess. I’m not sad, though. I’m actually kind of proud. And those of you who are left can stay with the knowledge that you’re welcome to say, “penis fart anus,” whenever you feel like it around here.
Also, I got all these great testimonials when people unsubscribed. (I feel like these unsubscribe reasons are actually the reasons why everyone else subscribes.)
Just rude!
Subject matter was entirely inappropriate.
Content and language of posts is tasteless and crude.
All of these are true, people. Unsubscribe now if “tasteless and crude” is not your thang. I will understand. Here’s possibly my favorite unsubscribe note:
The thing about the penis joke, “I DO NOT”!!!! like this kind of joke. Sorry for taking up tour time. I thought this site was all about recupes.
Next time I am very adamant about something, I’m going to put it in “CAPS AND QUOTES”!!!! because that makes all the difference. Also, I don’t know what recupes are, but maybe once I figure that out, I’ll add them to my content.
Penis.
Just cuz.
And here’s a little bit of housekeeping: Some of you are subscribed to get emails whenever I put up a post. This subscription comes from Feedburner, which is a service run by Google except that Google no longer supports it. You can tell you are subscribed to that one because you’ll see something like this at the bottom of the email:
The thing is, Feedburner has gotten real, real flakey and you’ve probably noticed that sometimes instead of displaying my artful photography in the emails, it displays a blank spot where the picture should be. If that’s the case for you, please feel free to hit that “unsubscribe now” link in the footer of the email and either subscribe to my weekly newsletter, or, if you still want to get emails every time I put up a post and you don’t want to wait until Fridays to see all the posts from the week, subscribe via WordPress. To do that, scroll to the bottom of any post, click in the comment box, and check the box underneath that says, “Notify me of new posts via email.” It looks like this:
There are also many other alternates, like Bloglovin’, or you can stick with Feedburner and just, you know, not see the pictures. I’m not going to nuke it or anything. Do whatcha want!
Happy Sunday. Long live penis jokes. (I said long.)
57 Comments
Gosh, I read posts thru feedly, but now I kinda wanna sign up for email alerts!
All part of my evil plan. 😉
Why would they subscribe in the first place if they didn’t know what your site was about? Serves them right!
Bahaha! Wow, seriously? I’m picturing some Ohio housewife with a mouth like a cat’s ass (I wish I could remember what comedian used that imagery, but it is “NOT MINE!!!!”–was that emphatic enough?) getting all butthurt about the word ‘penis.’ Or maybe it was the ‘anus’ part. Butthurt about anus makes more sense.
Prudes are funny, and they make me want to be even more outrageous.
Mamrie Hart does a character called Tiny Mouth that’s hilarious. 😉 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h09NDhpMGLY
This might be the most hilarious thing I’ve read today! Apparently people are in the habit of subscribing to stuff without first reading through some history? Because I think they’d get the clue from your penis cookie cutters that there might be some penis jokes showing up once in awhile ;D
Also, how does one get through life without laughing about penis and fart jokes? That’s just sad. Can we start a fund to help those poor souls?
Kickstarter campaign to fund certain readers’ sense of humor transplants. 😉
has there ever been a post where you don’t mention a penis at least once?? i mean… cookie cutters…. c’mon!!
Penis right back at you! 🙂
“Be who you are and say what you feel, cause those who mind, don’t matter, and those who matter, dont mind!” – Dr. seuss
So these people clearly never read a SINGLE post before subscribing…. who the hell does that? If I’m subscribing, I’ve been reading your shit.
I think “Recupes” was supposed to read Recipes, now wonder she was a bit shocked lol 🙂 loving your work
Well I unsubscribed from the feedburner emails and I’m reinscribing now by clicking the box about getting an email about each new post. I was wondering why the pictures stopped showing all of a sudden, even though my email options have it set to show pictures. I think your recupes are awesome “*KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK*!!!!”
You can shove a penis into my emails anyday! Those people are imature mooreons, more-ons? Morons 😉 I think your hilarious!
PENIS FART ANUS! PENIS FART ANUS!! PENIS FART ANUS! At least you use the correct, scientific terminology. Not as if you said, “schlong, ass gas, shithole”. Sheesh. You just can’t please some people.
ARGH. Why did it only print part of my comment? Here’s the whole thing…again. Grrrr.
PENIS FART ANUS! PENIS FART ANUS!! PENIS FART ANUS! At least you use the correct, scientific terminology. Not as if you said, “schlong, ass gas, shithole”. Sheesh. You just can’t please some people.
GRRRRR, again! I guess this system doesn’t like me. I’m just going to add what I said, line by line if I must, to get it all on there.
Yours was the first email I read today, & now I know the rest of the day will be fab; starting w/a laugh is the way to do it. (heh heh. I said “do it.”) PENIS FART ANUS! Love you. (Stupid “scroll to continue w/content” Verizon ad won’t let me see what I’m writing or edit it. I guess it’s pissed I’m not using a Droid. If anything is misspelled, please forgive me. PENIS FART ANUS!)
Love it, thanks for the heads up about the pictures in the emails. It was annoying to not see them. Keep up the good work!
i kind of feel like the penis, fart, anus stuff is juvenile and immature, however. I love you in spite of all that stuff. Do what you do and be who you are. I’m still here.
When did our society become such prude’s? Sonia, you always make me laugh or at least ‘hee hee’ under my breath.
.
Ok, so not sure why the first comment is just a period (does that in some way go along with penis fart anus?!?), but anyway… Love your hilarity, looking forward to more screw ups (yep, I said screw) and general obnoxiousness!
Do your thang girl, you’ve got plenty of “TASTELESS AND CRUDE”!!! followers who are not looking for recupes, only inappropriate subject matter involving PENIS FART ANUS.
This includes myself as I’ve been sitting here laughing for a good 10 minutes at your post + the comments while at work.
PENIS FOR LIFE!!!
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Okay, I am unsubscribing, but just because I’m getting those flaky ones without pictures (so I just click on the headline and go to the website). I am going to click the little boxy that says “notify me of new posts via email” so don’t go getting all excited thinking you have another angry unsubscriber. I WANT penis fart anus in my inbox!!
What a dumbass! I’ve loved your crude & tasteless blog since you started & was “fucking up” pinterest pins! Sorry about all the exclamation points, people like that really Grind My Gears! ;-D. I’m not sure you have enough recupes, either! Also, I’m unsubscribing, but only to resubscribe & be able to see the pics you post. Thanks for that tip!
So, people sign up for your newsletter without reading your blog first? Anyone who has read at least a post or two should know that penis, fart & anus are pretty standard around here.
PENIS FART ANUS!
Poll: Would you guys buy/wear a shirt that said PENIS FART ANUS on it? Because, you know, I already have a store and there are sweatpants that say BUTT on the butt, so it’s not like I’m not already taking the low road here.
Sonja: This seems like something you would LOVE! http://www.shipadick.com/
Sonja: This one is even better: http://dicksbymail.com/
You had me at “penis fart anus.” +1 Subscriber.
OMG. They unsubscribed because of penis fart anus? How the hell do they go through everyday life with that kind of sensitivity? Personally, I’ve never witnessed a penis fart and now I’m kinda wondering what it would sound/smell like. Probably horrible. Maybe I should google it. Maybe I should ask my husband. Maybe I should ask myself if I really want to experience such a thing.
Well. Those people have no sense of humor and it’s best they aren’t part of us anymore. 😀 My most favorite friends are those who have no filter. Because I have the best sense of humor that ever was and I’m not afraid to flaunt it!
People seriously get all butt hurt too easy these days…
You said butt. I’m offended.
I just got your email today (Sunday) from WordPress, but it’s funny (odd and ha ha) that it came today because just this morning I was reading posts on another website about cats peeing outside their litter boxes and some “lady” was offended that everyone kept using the word PEE! WTF?? I grew up in a large family and I’ve worked in male-dominated fields all my life so there is very little that offends me and NOTHING that shocks me. I tell the guys I work with that I’m a gay man in a woman’s body because I have bigger balls than most men I work with, but I still love men. 🙂 You can’t please everybody and I’ll bet 99% of those self-righteous cunts that left have laughed at more penis and fart jokes than you’ve ever posted but are too damn prudish to admit. Fuck ’em!
I wouldn’t wear a tee w/PENIS FART ANUS, but I would wear pjs (preferably pjs w/shorts – it’s Florida & menopause & I get HOT, people! Too bad not hot in a good way…that’s less & less so as my hormones commit suicide, one by one) or a nightshirt that said it…
That is sort of brilliant. I am now researching pajama possibilities.
This is clearly the end result of “political correctness” run amok. You gave fair warning, I found it hilarious. Must be old age, all the “sensitive” people need to get a reality check, wimps. Keep up the reality checks!
I was wondering if I was the only one with issues loading your pictures… Well you haven’t offended my delicate senses yet. 🙂
filth and debauchery. I shall remain subscribed just so i can be outraged and offended…….
i enjoy the read, thanks for your insights
“….. Sorry for taking up tour time. I thought this site was all about recupes.”
I’d like to book a tour. Is there a splash zone? Do I need to bring my own poncho?
I can’t believe that a dainty and delicate little thing like you said “penis.” I’m shocked. Shocked, I say. (Or, you know, NOT.)
Thanks!
Love what you do, no matter what anatomy/biological process you’re mentioning.
Also, feel like this page should be mandatory reading before being to subscribe.
Haters gonna hate, idiots gonna subscribe not knowing wtf they are in for – fuck em all! Love you, love what you write – I have on more than one occassion laughed till I cried (or peed). Keep it up!
I am only unsubscribing so I can get the emails with the pics!
There’s always gonna be someone out there who’s negatively judgemental about others just so they can feel better about themselves. Fuck ’em.
I’ve never read your blog for the recupes either, I read it for the fuck ups.
I love your site and emails with the swearing because they wouldn’t have the same feel and humor. I would think someone hacked your blog if there wasn’t at least one mention of “penis” in the post.
I think you’re hilarious. Carry on. 😀
Your posts are amazing. Your headline was genius. Hopefully the people who left your subscription list will find a more in their comfort zone.. like a site that teaches you to stitch proverbs on pillows or something. Penis Fart Anus forever lol
Recipes (recupes?) are everywhere, but there’s only one PENIS FART ANUS site…. & only one of you. Keeping being you..
I love your crude humor <3
Look at it this way. It weeds out the people who aren’t really in your tribe. And gives you the ability to focus on those of us who still enjoy a little penis in our emails, lol. Rock on!
I check your blog to waste time at work some days – This post must made me sign up for your emails!
So you can replace that dick reader with this reader who likes dicks.
OMG! Laughed so hard almost shot post-dinner BM out of my nose!! Ummm, just to clarify, that stands for Bloody Mary. It’s called adult humor for a reason, peeps. Keep Dirty and Carry On, please. Any blog that makes me laugh out loud will stay on my feed list.