Wine Jello Shots

2 Posted by - May 20, 2012 - Food & Drink

I’ve never much gone in for the whole liquor-as-jello thing. I just figure it’s quicker and easier to, you know, drink the liquor. But I’m always up for a challenge, especially if you call the jello shots something that sounds classy, like “dessert wine gelees.”

Image via

… On second thought, I don’t care what you call them. They’re still jello shots.

But they’re jello shots with wine instead of, like, Goldsmeister or Jagerschlager or whatever. So that’s classier, right? Right.

Gather your ingredients. It just so happened that I actually did have pretty much everything you need for this one, without even cheating. Mostly.

And since we’re calling jello shots “dessert gelees,” we’re going to call my boxed wine “a light pinot grigio with citrus on the finish, vintage 2012.”

We’re also going to call this “a subtle undercut of fruit flavors:”

Otherwise known as a brown banana.

When the steps are pretty much “combine ingredients and boil,” even I find it hard to fail.

After all the ingredients are put together in a shallow pan, they look like this:

And then you have to leave the whole thing in the refrigerator overnight. (Do you see now why I prefer to just drink my alcohols?) After you slice them up the next day, they’re actually kind of pretty, even with bananas instead of classy-ass citrus.

And, despite the fact that this is a Martha Stewart recipe, and also despite the fact that I made these, they’re actually not bad. On a scale of 1 to sophisticated, I’m not sure they’re that much fancier than jello shots, but hey, if it makes you feel better, let’s call them classy. My sophisticated palate declared them to be: “Pretty damn good. Fuckin’ a, man.”

Imma ask Martha Stewart if she wants to use that testimonial on her site.

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  • Steph

    Yay! Congrats!
    I think I am going to make these and serve them to a bunch of snooty people next time I have to bring some food to a candle or some other bullshit party. Maybe it will loosen up the sticks up their asses….

    • Pintester

      They have candle parties? That sounds torturous. I would bring something way worse than these to a party like that.

      • Steph

        I always try to bring something really fatty to those…since everyone is usually watching their weight…plus booze so I can put up with the BS

  • Piper Alexander

    I’m worried that boiling the alcohol will remove it’s alcohol properties. Please tell me it’s not true.

  • Lesley

    I LOVE this one. I’m a Chef…yes a fancy Baker-Type Chef and I keep seeing these around. Glad you tried them! If it were me though I would use tequila and NOT boil it. Much more boozy that way! :-D

    LOVE them though, and love you blog. Its fantastic. And I am an avaid pinner, so I love it even more! Thank you for being so awesome!

  • Leslie

    I made Mint Julip Gelees for a party – what a mess. Note to self: these do NOT transport well. Also note to self: do not cover silver tray with a doily before putting the gelees on. End of the party you have melting gelees with bits of doily stuck to them. What a mess!

  • semisocial

    omg im laughing out loud at this… old banana? lol lol

  • mari

    wow. great. You make me laugh

  • VictoriaDavis

    Lol Looks Good! 

  • BrandiMedeiros

    Holy shit, you are hilarious!!!! Love your blog!!

  • K

    Yours actually look better than Martha’s…

  • Skepticalnymph

    These look awful. Not just your attempt, it’s the original. It’s like some shitty girls weekend on bicycles in wine country Zinfandel commercial.

    What might be cool is Blue Moon jelle with orange or Corona jelle with lime.

  • KMAY

    I’m a first time reader and I am actually losing my shit at all of these posts. You do you, girl.

  • Juju88

    so funny! and actually it came out quite good… but why banana slices? why didn’t you just leave out the fruit? 

  • Kris D

    You crack me up!

  • JoshuaCappuccilli

    A success! Excellent.

  • virtualdespot

    It has become apparent that brown bananas are an essential staple of your pantry.

  • jhen

    So how are you supposed to eat these? Take a spoon to the pan? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  • HelenJuliaJohnson

    Sooooo…doesn’t boiling destroy the alcohol content?

    • rfoust

       @HelenJuliaJohnson EEK! ..hmmm

  • HelenJuliaJohnson

    Soooo…won’t boiling it destroy the alcohol content?

  • Raechel

    The banana is still cracking me up. I love you blog!!

  • JenniferMillardRonca

    Hi.  Just found your blog and am happy to report that I have read & laughed out loud for the past few hours.  For future reference, someone once told me that box-wine is otherwise known as Cardboardeaux.  Just sounds classier.

  • AlexismsLite

    This is good, and you should feel good.

  • autumn

    wine jello shots: staying classy while being trashy
    (people it’s a joke)