If You Think Pedicures Are Easy, You Should Meet Pintester

0 Posted by - September 26, 2014 - Hair & Beauty

DIY pedicures are not a new thing for me on this blog. This time, though, a DIY pedicure was necessary because I got a giant blister on my foot and I was afraid if I went to the pedicure place to get my toes did, some kind of gross MRSA or some shit would wiggle it’s way into my open wound and I’d end up losing a leg. So, in this case, DIY sounds safer, even if I’m the DIYer.

I wanted something summer-y, and I found this guy, which seems to be a tropical version of this one that I did years ago.

So I figured I’d try it, given that I have an approximate color match (which doesn’t work quite as well for pumpkins) and a gold leaf pen. Same diff, right?

pedicure supplies

As with most things in my life, I decided this needed to be done, like, the night before an important event and so I did a quick job of everything, but I figured it wouldn’t be that hard. And, really, if you are a normal person, painting solid colors on your toenails ain’t no thang.

I am me, though, and I never can quite get the hang of pedicures. For one thing, my feet are very far away from me. I am not a short woman, and I do not have a shortage of, um, heft blocking me from contorting myself so that my feet are close enough to my eye region to actually see what I’m doing. Also, I always decide that I need to paint my toes in the dead of night when they only light available is that of table lamps and the reflection off my pale (probably unshaven) legs. These factors combined make my at-home pedicures something of an adventure, in the way that yoga is an adventure when you’ve just eaten a 3-pound burrito.

Still, I managed the orange-y color fairly well. (I think– you know, it’s still dark. Morning’s light will give the real answer.)

unfinished toes

(I considered putting a toe warning at the top of this post since I am aware there is a small contingent of my readers who can’t stand to look at feet. If that’s you, (1) why are you still reading this post?, and (2) consider it therapy. I’m helping you get over your fear. Embrace the toes. Love the toes. Be the toes.)

Then it was time for the accent toe. Tangent: Does that make anyone else think of a toe with a French accent? “Hoh Hoh Hoh ah ehm le toh toh toh,” or something. Just me? Ahem. Carry on then.

I don’t think the accent toe is an improvement.

pedicure with accent toe

 

Sadly, neither a coat of Seche Vite nor an Instagram filter did anything to improve the state of this pedicure, but I am too tired to fix it, so I’m going to rock it and just hope no one looks that close. At least I know the other tall people won’t care, because we can’t even fucking see pedicures from way up here.

Well let's just call it "close" and move along, shall we? #NailedIt #NailFail

Summary
Article Name
If You Think Pedicures Are Easy, You Should Meet Pintester
Description
I mean, shit, you guys. Pedicures are hard if you are tall and un-bendy and it's dark and your eyesight isn't great and you're a general screw-up anyways...
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7 Comments

  • DivaDiane September 26, 2014 - 9:28 pm Reply

    Your toes are prettier to start with — you more than nailed it!

  • Ashley Bee September 26, 2014 - 9:30 pm Reply

    Looks fine to me! 🙂

  • Vanessa September 26, 2014 - 10:31 pm Reply

    They look good to me! Have you tried Jamberry yet? I don’t want to come off as a pushy consultant. I think it would be super cool and informative if you tried them and reviewed them on your blog. You’re hilarious and honest! Check them out on my website and if it sparks an interest contact me 🙂 http://www.vgvalencia.jamberrynails.net

  • Christine Kiehl September 27, 2014 - 1:17 am Reply

    I loved the video when you did the gold leaf pen! You are so funny! Thanks for sharing this one though. Stay cool. Bean

  • J September 27, 2014 - 3:14 am Reply

    Having just purchased a shit load of Jamberry nails and used them for the first time (totally fucking things up), I’d love to see how you do.

  • Kendra September 27, 2014 - 7:58 am Reply

    I am a nail tech and having done many a pedi on myself and others, you didn’t do to bad. What I always tell my ladies if they get a polish booboo is this “keep your hands moving” Works just as well for your feet. Keep them moving by doing a jig or the like and no one will ever know.

  • libraryofbird September 28, 2014 - 12:20 pm Reply

    I cant contort myself it to the right position to paint my baby toes Not only are the super tiny but the also are practically turned sideways. I do a blind sweep of polish and call it good.

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