I sort of try to appeal to the guys now and then. I did try the zip-tie escape thing, after all. And the man-pleasing chicken. But today’s post is definitely for the ladies. You are 80% of my readership, so I don’t feel bad about that.
Specifically, it’s for the ladies like me, who love a good underwire bra but fucking hate that the underwire starts poking out way before the bra gets worn out enough to actually throw away. (I mean, jeez! These things are like $50, people.)
Image from Chaotically Creative
I know, guys. If I hand-washed my brassieres, this wouldn’t happen to me.
Uh, yeah.
Check it out on YouTube
So, whatever haters. If you want to spend all your time hand-washing your flopper-stopper, be my guest. I’m gonna stick some adhesive something on there and expect miracles.
I will admit to you guys that this is not moleskin. I didn’t have any moleskin on hand, since I don’t regularly do infantry humps (which are less fun than they sound, believe me– take that as you will).
I did have some athletic tape. I know, I know, it’s all a lie. Because I’m not athletic. But I bought it a few months ago because I broke my foot, except before I actually knew I broke my foot, I was taping it and dancing on it for a show I was in, because I am a badass. So, yes, not athletic, but danced-on-a-broken-foot has to count for something.
You would think athletic tape would perform fairly similarly to moleskin, at least when used on a bra. You would be right in the fact that I got a day or two of relief because it stayed on while I was wearing it.
Not so much in the wash, though.
So, if you don’t mind re-taping your double-barreled slingshot after every non-hand-wash, use athletic tape. Otherwise, you should probably buy moleskin, learn to sew, or just suck it up and buy a new bra.
Are you still thinking about infantry humps? Grow up.
47 Comments
I had the same results, and I even had my Husband pick up some honest-to-god real moleskin, it doesn’t work any better. I have to keep putting it on, though it does work relatively well once it’s applied.
Great new guys! Stay tuned because we are soon to release a new product that has a better adhesive that does stay on through most wash cycles. Thanks for the feature and the hilarious recap, seriously it was funny. [email protected] creative.
As as seamstress, I have to say even sewing doesn’t work if you (as I do) continue to throw them in the wash.
I am not thinking of “infantry humps”. I am thinking of “flopper-stoppers”.
You gals do laundry?? I personally think we should start an OCCUPY LA SENZA movement. I’ve gotta be part of the 99% that hate those fuckin’ contraptions. Never mind that the retailers have their hands in our pockets like little gasoline suckers.We get free flu shots, so why can’t they grant all women free implants? More money to spend on inventing a proper blackhead remover! The men would be happy. We’d be comfortable….WIN WIN!
Have you heard of this Blog @Pintester? http://busts4justice.com/2012/05/20/playtex-ignores-customers-pleas-for-help-for-shame/
Thanks for the feature and your re-cap and test was hilarious. Unfortunately, the moleskin only lasted through the wash one time for me. However, I use the patch all the time now. All of my bras have this issue now. No matter what anyone says though I will never have time to hand wash my bras. I also did a test of my own and sewed the bra which did not work at all, the sharp wire cut threw within a few hours. Thanks again for the feature. You are hysterical! Lesley http://www.chaoticallycreative.com
ChaoticallyCrea Thanks for stopping by Lesley! Glad you enjoyed. 🙂
ChaoticallyCrea Try sewing the hole and reinforcing with fabric glue. That has worked for me and lasts through many washes.
Miho__Suzuki ChaoticallyCrea With the particular bras I wear the hand sewing is extremely difficult because of the way the wire tears the fabric. It leaves basically no fabric to work with. So far I’ve not even had enough success with the stitch to move to gluing. Thanks for the tip though. The moleskin option is really meant for people who have no time to stitch or are in a situation when they have no access to those materials. For instance, I had a reader that was at a wedding when she had a wire breakthrough, she commented that it actually ended up cutting her and then leaving a scar. A quick trip to the pharmacy and she could have patched it then and there. This tip is also good for women on business trips or at the office when they most certainly won’t have time to go shopping or sew their bras. Thanks again for the response and I don’t mean to be long winded, I just haven’t had the chance to expand on the other reasonings behind why I choose this as a quick fix.
I usually just end up taking the stupid wires out after awhile.
I will give you $5 if you stop saying “you guys” multiple times in every post. Okay, I won’t really, but you should still stop that.
glencoco I only said it once in this post. I did a search, so I know. Nyeh. (Seriously, though, I’m trying to break myself of it. At least I don’t say “like” all the time… right?)
Are you kidding? I LOVE the “you guys.” Uh, “You guys’s” “Youse guise?” Ah, fuck it. Keep saying it.
glencoco I HEREBY RESCIND FOUR FOR YOU. And none for Glen Coco, byeeee
I have that same bra and the underwire just came out a couple weeks ago…on the same side. damn it. i’m rocking a band-aid on it though…
Shouldn’t the point be to actually do the pins as they are directed? I mean especially with food some modification is to be expected and all, but you really didn’t do anything the same at all. Pin totally not tested.
Shouldn’t the point be to actually do the pins as they are directed? Imean especially with food some modification is to be expected and all,but you really didn’t do anything the same at all. Pin totally nottested. That said, I do really like your blog. It is amusing, even if testing of the pins isn’t reliable.
h elisekay No, it sjould not be. Doing the pins “as they are directed” would not be funny. This is funny.If you are looking for accurate reviews, maybe you shouldn’t be reading a blog that says “Fucking up Pinterest pins so you don’t have to” right at the top of the page.
I find amusement in the fact that you people think she cares you are unimpressed by her lack of “correct pintesting”. Everyone does things their own way. It’s called originality. Someone made these pins in the first place because they were using what they thought would work. So why couldn’t someone else use what they think would work.All in all Sonja you’re hilarious and i don’t even try the things you do I just like to read about you trying them. It simply makes me jolly. Keep on keepin’ on madame.
I just buy bras without underwire. Problem solved!!
best part: ain’t nobody got time fo dathahahahahahaha
I wonder if you could replace the wire with rubber spline or something. Test that and get back to me (’cause ain’t nobody got time fo dat). I probably would need steel cable but I think that will poke through the fabric too. Hell with it. I should just bite the bullet and buy a scaffold and pulley system.
I have had this problem forever with my bras! Then one day I was talking to the lady at a lingerie store and she said that hand washing is NOT required, you can wash them in the regular wash but in a lingerie bag (which can be bought at most every department store, usually in the aisle with ironing boards and hampers). The real key though is to hang the bras to dry because if you put them in the dryer then the fabric shrinks because of the heat (but of course the wire doesn’t) and this is usually what causes them to rip through the fabric. Just my little piece of advice. Wash in washing machine, hang to dry.
I love a good Infantry Hump joke before 6 AM!
As an Army wife, I thought your Infantry humps joke was crude and unnecessary… Which is exactly why I loved it! Who doesn’t love a good infantry hump 😉
Come on Guys………… just bite the bullet and go wireless. Sure they give “uni-boob” and have an oh so unappealing silhouette. But hey, I’d rather not be poked. (did I just say that?)
I used an iron on patch–worked for a few months!
@randomnailart Thanks for the share!
@ThePintester you are welcome! thanks for trying out all these crazy pins and sharing the results with everyone 🙂 immd
If you want to take ten minutes, sew on (tightly) some old, worn, comfy as fuck jeans to the spot … sew the entire edging … and use a double-strand thread … and it will last years. Not that I’ve done this cheap-ass method before. (Dude, it totally works.)
Pfffft fuck that noise, yo!I have the answer to your underwire problems. SUPER GLUE. Yep, just super glue. I’ve glued the underwire fabric holder thingie shut on two bras and it’s been perfect ever since. 🙂
No one wants to hand wash bras! (who has time for that???) but I found this the other day:”FELLOW POSSESSORS OF BOOBAGE! Check out SALAD SPINNERS.Seriously. They are PERFECT for washing delicates. Just enough water and soap to soak whatever you’re washing, spin that sucker, dump the soap water, fill with clear water and spin again (X2 if you’ve got a lot of soap) and dump the rinse water, spin again to almost totally dry the things, and hang dry the rest of the way.I can wash 2-3 bras in like 6-7 minutes tops this way. IT IS AWESOME. Try it!(and don’t forget to use gentle detergent like baby shampoo or lingerie soap. Elastic breaks down over time when exposed to normal and heavy detergents.)”I cant stand underwire bras myself, maybe this will help cut down on the washing wear and tear.Love your site! ~Kat
KatFish88 Dudette, I just totally went out and bought a salad spinner for this.
renlish KatFish88 awesomeThough as my boyfriend says please do my sure it is a salad SPINNER and not a salad SHOOTER! LMAO!!!
renlish KatFish88 renlish KatFish88 Awesome!!Though as my boyfriend says please do be sure it is a salad SPINNER and not a salad SHOOTER! LMAO!!!
The only reason I have athletic tape in my house is the same reason as yours. I broke my foot, taped it up tight, stuck it in a high heel shoe, went to a friends wedding and danced…and then went to the doctor the next day. Priorities, right?
Flopper-Stopper, LOL you kill me!This Silly Girl’s Life
Flopper-Stopper, LOL you kill me!http://thissillygirlslife.com
i actually had the moleskin.. and fixed my favorite bra with it.. i swear i have washed it 5 times since applying the moleskin, and it hasnt failed me yet! perfect fix!!
My 15 year old daughter came up with the perfect solution for the poking wire…she used dental wax she didn’t need for her braces & miracles of all miracles, it actually worked. Believe me, she would complain every day if not. I thought, maybe perhaps a pencil eraser. Hmmm…might need to test it. Dental wax…the perfect flopper-stopper! LOL
Ladies! I too am way to lazy to hand wash my bras!! But being that I have huge tots! Sitting at a G cup here! Bras are even more expensive the larger the cup size. BUY EUCALAN all you do is plop your booby supports in the top with warm water spin rub the armpits and straps lightly and let it sit for 15 minutes. Then take em out gently squeeze and lay flat or hang to dry depending on the bra. No rinse no nothing that’s it!! No more busted wires or deformed bras!!
Tub not top*
[…] Pinterestland. (And I’ve actually done all of these so they actually work! Not like the 10 second bra repair I was […]
Just wear the bras that need cleaned in the shower. Shampoo (really, dime size amount) while it’s on. Take that bad boy off and clean your underboob! Actual method recommended by VS when I told her I was having this problem in college, and OBVIOUSLY not hand washing anything besides, let’s face it, my hands. I swear by it ever since then!
I dont hand wash my bras either…and i dont have the pokie wire problem..either…i just thought with everyone renaming the “bra” i would throw in my two cents : Bra…aka…over the shoulder bolder holder.
Huh, wish I’d known about this 5 years ago — got surgery instead to make ’em smaller! Now you tell me moleskin was all I needed???