Fuck I’m tired. (Bye, everyone who is insulted by cursewords, but only notices them when I put them in the first sentence of a blog. I’ll miss you! Come back when you’re ready for some swears. I’ll still be here.) I got up early and made myself go to the gym (like, I actually said out loud to myself, “Get up. Get up. Get up,” until I did it) after a night of restless sleep due to nightmares about diarrhea (thank you, Shane and Tyler).
BUT! I love you guys and I’m going to write this anyway, even though I’d rather nap for the rest of the day.
I made crockpot pineapple chicken the other night. (That’s a slow cooker for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about.)
Well, the other day. And then I let it sit there all day and cook, because, you know, crockpots. And this is the kind of crockpot recipe I like because you just throw things in. None of that brown-the-meat-first bullshit or anything.
Throw in onion:
Throw in chicken. (Well, I didn’t literally throw it. I’ve had enough flying cock in my life, thank you.)
Ok, I admit: This part I messed up on. I was supposed to add an entire can of pineapple, but see, I got hungry Monday morning and used half the can of pineapple I had in my spinach pina colada breakfast thing (don’t judge). So I only had half a can left.
And I was too lazy to go to the grocery store because I was missing half a can of pineapple, so I just threw it in there and prayed.
Really, once I added the chicken broth and soy sauce, it all looked like enough liquid anyway.
As far as the final results, well, crockpot dinners are never gonna win any beauty contests, folks. Pretty much everything you cook in a crockpot ends up looking like watery roadkill. But it tasted good enough, and as we say here at Underachievers Central, “Good enough is good enough.”
I’ve made this recipe before. With the whole can of pineapples, it came out super fruity, so you probably did better with just half the can. And I I didn’t care for the soupy pineapples, but the chicken itself actually worked in a chicken pot pie the next day. Can’t go wrong with lazy crockpot cooking.
I fell into a youtube black hole from that link. Thank you for the distraction!
Actually…I think yours looks better then the original one!
Our crockpots are twins. Except mine has a ghetto rigged lid handle because my mom has a problem with breaking things.
I made that one day for my dad. It was ok I think it needed more favor. I did add some carrots to it because I thought it needs more veggies. Sent some home with the dad. He said it was very good heated up on stove. Thickens up the sauce, (his microwave was broken)
This is basically stew chicken in a crockpot. With a crockpot however, all you need to add is enough water that it cover half the chicken. I would have browned/caramelized it first on the stove then set it on the crockpot. It takes 3-5 minutes to get the same result.
Add you flour-water paste, a teaspoon of browning (caramelized sugar), carrots, potatoes (sweet), your onions, sweet peppers and herbs then set the crockpot to high. It should cook well. Stew chicken is fantastic and so easy. You can eat it with polenta or rice.
I second your sentiment about “brown the meat first” BS. As I said on one of my blogposts about crockpots, ” If I wanted to actually use the stove, I’d just braise the fucker.”
Seriously! Those people need to go back to Crockpot Recipe Writing 101.
When I do that (the laying in bed and needing to go work out), I say, “Get up, Trinity. Get UP!”
I am going to start doing THAT.
It’s really the only way to get out of bed 🙂
Yeah.. but you know what REALLY wakes you up? Wasp Sting.. that’s what! Learned that little tidbit Tuesday morning. Roll over to hug the hubby and “wholly bat crap.. what the fuck was that!” I jumped out of bed like I had been electrocuted.. Of course, told him I just got stung or bit by something.. he gets this panicked look in his eyes and says.. “you think it was a wasp.. maybe it was a black widow spider” (he is obsessed with deadly spiders.. they are all around us and are going to take over the world).. So then he jumps out of bed and spies the wasp which he plucks up with some toilet paper and then flushes it. Or at least, he thought he did.. I go in to use the bathroom and the damn thing is in the bowl doing the backstroke. I double flushed and he was gone. I would have been to the moon pissed if I got stung on my butt too! (or worse). So that was the welcome back from a 4 day weekend.. get your butt up to work wake up call.
Do people seriously call you out on the cursing?! That is so pathetic! It’s your fuckin blog, you can post whatever the hell you want! My boyfriend’s Dad is the same criticizing way with FB. He starts threatening to unfriend people if the keep posting stuff he doesn’t agree with and I can’t help but laugh. Who is really gonna change what they do or post just to please one person? Seriously!
Btw, I also agree that your pic looks better than the original post one.
I made this tonight but I added some chopped peppers (1 red and one green) which improved the appearance (and I’m assuming the flavor). But, yeah,,,,crockpot meals just ain’t that pretty, I also thickened the sauce with a corn starch slurry. It was pretty tasty and all the kids ate so I consider it a success.
Not a great picture but….
This made me want to try it more than the original recipe. Who gives a fuck what your food looks like anyway? Your stomach doesn’t have freaking EYEBALLS. Soup looks like barf but we all still eat that. Mostly when watching Grey’s Anatomy in our “period yoga pants” on a Tuesday night. Still counts!
It’s way better if you use a bottle of Hawaiian bbq sauce over top of it all, and serve over rice. Although the pineapples texture suffered a lot.
Watery road-kill! I LOVE it!
I haven’t made this, but perusing the ingredients, I’m thinking maybe some kind of seasoning or seasoning product, or something that contains some kind of seasoning would really add to this. Say, packet o’ Italian Seasoning or “recipe ready pineapple” (do they make that?) or a couple of garlic cloves and a teaspoon of seasoning salt. Looks SO BLAND.
I make a Hawaiian chicken in the crock pot that is amazing.
You just need chicken breasts, red pepper, pineapple tidbits + juice and Lawrys Hawaiian marinade.
Throw it all together
4-6 hrs on high
Shred 1 hr before done and serve over rice.
Whole bottle of marinade?? This sounds tasty!
I’m going to try this!
I did a crocpot pork shoulder this weekend.. problem was we had an enormous pork lump.. and only a medium sized crock pot. So.. I said we were gonna have to cut it up.. but no.. My engineer said “just shove it in sideways.. it will shrink down.” Yeah.. ok.. we will now need to babysit it since the lid is sitting about 2 inches from the rim.. and I just know it’s going to produce all those lovely crockpot juices which will choose 2 am to flow over the sides and cause a grease fire! (we cook overnight usually) My bright idea was to put a tent of aluminum foil over the top to cover the gap and that way we wouldn’ lose so much heat. It was also my genius idea to try to continually mash the top down to help the process along. Burned my fingers on the lava hot rim of the crock pot every time. The last time it was so bad I had go hold an ice cube for the rest of the night. Of course that led to excess drinking since I got the ice cubes out of the cooler and I would drink a beer every time I got a new ice cube and those suckers melt fast in your hand.
you’re engineer should have also rigged a giant bungee or rubber band in a figure 8 around the top and put an aluminum disposable turkey roasting pan beneath if he’s gonna make you stuff a giant roast into a tiny pot.
cos’ that’s what i did- i have NO perception of volume and packing leftovers whatsoever. tom & jerry diving into cup of water, completely legit in my world.
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