Fuck I’m tired. (Bye, everyone who is insulted by cursewords, but only notices them when I put them in the first sentence of a blog. I’ll miss you! Come back when you’re ready for some swears. I’ll still be here.) I got up early and made myself go to the gym (like, I actually said out loud to myself, “Get up. Get up. Get up,” until I did it) after a night of restless sleep due to nightmares about diarrhea (thank you, Shane and Tyler).
BUT! I love you guys and I’m going to write this anyway, even though I’d rather nap for the rest of the day.
Well, the other day. And then I let it sit there all day and cook, because, you know, crockpots. And this is the kind of crockpot recipe I like because you just throw things in. None of that brown-the-meat-first bullshit or anything.
Throw in onion:
Throw in chicken. (Well, I didn’t literally throw it. I’ve had enough flying cock in my life, thank you.)
Ok, I admit: This part I messed up on. I was supposed to add an entire can of pineapple, but see, I got hungry Monday morning and used half the can of pineapple I had in my spinach pina colada breakfast thing (don’t judge). So I only had half a can left.
And I was too lazy to go to the grocery store because I was missing half a can of pineapple, so I just threw it in there and prayed.
Really, once I added the chicken broth and soy sauce, it all looked like enough liquid anyway.
As far as the final results, well, crockpot dinners are never gonna win any beauty contests, folks. Pretty much everything you cook in a crockpot ends up looking like watery roadkill. But it tasted good enough, and as we say here at Underachievers Central, “Good enough is good enough.”