Half Crown Braid

0 Posted by - August 13, 2013 - Hair & Beauty

Y’all, I’m struggling. I must admit here to having a problem… a hair problem. Please reference last week’s video in which I look like a damn poodle. I decided my hair was too dry and yucky and therefore I should try Wen because my favorite beauty blogger Maskcara mentioned it. But then I did not win the Wen from Cara and so I went to the drugstore to buy some but they only had the knock-off version, which is called Ren. And that makes me think of Ren & Stimpy. So I’m now using shampoo named after an ugly Chihuahua.

I tried it yesterday. It made my hair all greasy. So I guess I am doomed either to dry poodle hair or to greasy Chihuahua hair. This is my life, guys.

AND YET! And yet I am going to attempt a hair pin test for you today on my greasy Chihuahua hair. Behold, the half crown braid.

Image from Hair Romance

Image from Hair Romance

Behold, the greasy Chihuahua hair (which also has a ponytail kink in it because I am just that classy).

greaseball hair

God, I don’t even want to post this one because you can see the oil slick going on. I apologize. This is not my natural state, I promise.

ew braid

You will also note the big fat blue hair tie. I don’t have any clear hair ties. I probably should get some. I used to have lots of clear braces rubber bands that I used, but I went on a minimalist decluttering jag a few years ago and got rid of all of them.

The results? Well. No one is going to be making me a princess anytime soon, I’m pretty sure. Someone get me aΒ real crown. And some fucking shampoo.



  • Kate McAfee August 13, 2013 - 3:49 pm Reply

    Wen isn’t shampoo, it’s conditioner. They may call it a cleansing conditioner but there is nothing in there that will remove any oil or dirt from your hair.

    • Catherine August 14, 2013 - 9:24 am Reply

      I think that’s the point, though. It’s like the whole no-poo trend where you “wash” your hair with a handful of baking soda. The purpose is to not strip your hair of its natural oils which is supposed to make it healthier. I’ve heard the thing with Wen is that it does take a while for your scalp to stop freaking out and overproducing the oil it’s used to having to produce.

      • Kate McAfee August 14, 2013 - 9:56 am Reply

        Washing your hair with baking soda is terrible for it. Your hair has a pH of around 5 and washing with something as alkaline as baking soda causes the cuticle to lift up (sealing the cuticle is the point of conditioning) and increases the friction (and damage) between strands. As far as washing your hair with conditioner- I can’t see any mechanism by which it would be helpful. I don’t wash my body or face with lotion because I want it to be clean. If you leave all the oil in your hair, not only will your hair look oily, but it will be a magnet for dirt.

        • A. B. England August 15, 2013 - 10:00 am Reply

          That’s why you are supposed to follow a baking soda wash with a vinegar rinse to keep your hair’s pH in balance. A lot of folks seem to skip that step or willfully forget about it because they are terrified of the smell. Lord knows I held off on it at first for the same reason before I learned that steeping rosemary and other beneficial herbs in apple cider vinegar can effectively cover the smell while adding benefits for the hair and scalp.

          I fell off the no shampoo wagon a while back because it couldn’t clear products used to try and tame my frizzed out curls and waves. I need to get back on once I can find some curl taming products without silicates that I can actually afford. My scalp hates me right now.

          • ChickieD August 15, 2013 - 12:29 pm

            I tried the no poo thing for about two days and then decided fuck that shit and now I am in love with chemicals. Sorry people, my hair does not do grease well.

      • Girl Who Cried Skinny August 14, 2013 - 5:15 pm Reply

        I decided long ago I would never do the whole “no poo” thing because it is the Dumbest Name Ever In The History of Dumb Names. Seriously, couldn’t those crazy girls come up with something better than that?

  • Chris Bennor August 13, 2013 - 4:11 pm Reply

    I disagree, you are a princess. A funny, snarky, foul-mouthed princess that we all adore.

    • Pintester August 15, 2013 - 8:28 pm Reply

      Aw shucks.

  • J August 13, 2013 - 4:16 pm Reply

    I know that all hair is different, but I have similar issues, and have found that working some coconut oil into my hair 1-???* hours before washing helps tame the beast.

    As a serious introvert who is currently a full-time online student, I sometimes don’t leave the house much and have been known to rock the coconut oil for several (like, maybe 10-12) hours.

  • sg August 13, 2013 - 4:43 pm Reply

    In an effort to combat the ponytail kink, perhaps you could Pintest the DIY hair ties that have been circulating Pinterest. Supposedly, they eliminate the dreaded kink entirely.

  • molly August 13, 2013 - 4:55 pm Reply

    I just finished reading your blog from start to finish, in its entirety. I found it (surprise, surprise!) on Pinterest a while ago, and have been reading it like a novel ever since. I laughed, I cried, and I really feel like I know the characters on a deep and personal level.

    That’s right, deep AND personal.

    Consider me your newest fan.

    • Pintester August 13, 2013 - 4:56 pm Reply

      1. You rule.

      2. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today. Thank you!

  • Kim August 13, 2013 - 5:37 pm Reply

    Try a little of Organix Coconut Milk Serum on the ends of your hair after you get out of the shower and do a deep Argan Magic mask once a week. That stuff repaired my hair after it had been extremely dry and damaged for years. http://www.amazon.com/Argan-Magic-Restorative-Hair-Mask/dp/B007N6T866/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

    • Christina Jacobs August 18, 2013 - 6:13 pm Reply

      They also sell Organix at WalMart. I use it and love it!

  • Ang August 13, 2013 - 5:38 pm Reply

    I’ve used Wen with similar results. Looked like I had spent two weeks in a Cambodian prison. No bueno.

  • Liz August 13, 2013 - 6:43 pm Reply

    well, all the comments are about the products used in your hair, but I must say-I LOVE this style. I may even try it myself!! Thank you for posting. As for hair products-my hair is a bit frizzy, very long and sometimes gray. I trek out to my local walmart and grab some Suave or White Rain-whichever’s cheaper-a bonus if I can match the shampoo and conditioner scents!! I wash it about every 3 days, otherwise it would break off from dryness, but I have been clipping it up at night for decades and that seems to help!!

  • Liv August 13, 2013 - 7:54 pm Reply

    Just the fact that you even mentioned Cara made me love you even more. I religiously check both of your pages. It’s a problem. But what can you do? And personally I don’t think your hair looks greasy in the slightest. It’s looks shiny and healthy. What it feels like on the other hand may be a different story entirely. But, hey, you had me fooled. Also? (Last one, I swear!) I hail from the great city of Wilmington. And work for HT which I see you shop at. We’re pretty much best friends already. Next time I’m in the area? You have been warned. πŸ™‚

  • Liv August 13, 2013 - 7:57 pm Reply

    P. fucking. S. that shit just took far too long to create an account and shit. That long, in fact, that it deserved a second comment to get my time’s worth. Have a lovely day.

  • womangirlchild August 13, 2013 - 10:12 pm Reply

    I started out with oil slick Wen hair and then I figured out the trick to beautiful Wen hair: use half as much as they suggest and don’t put any on as a conditioner, just as a cleanser. I wash my hair every 5 days or so, depending on how hot & nasty it’s been. Took my hair about 3 weeks to adjust the output of oil, but it was well worth it. Love the blog & can’t wait to see more πŸ™‚

    • Pintester August 13, 2013 - 10:14 pm Reply

      3 WEEKS?! Urgh. But now I bought the stuff and I’ll feel bad if I don’t use it…

  • Cara August 13, 2013 - 10:22 pm Reply

    I don’t think it looks half bad. With those teensy little clear bands, it would look super cute. I’ve always been curious about the Wen line- the infomercials are so persuasive. I assume it will magically make my hair look like Alyssa Milano’s. If not, I want my money back. That’s how these things work, right? Ehh. Maybe I’ll just stick with my Pantene.


    • Alex August 25, 2013 - 3:54 pm Reply

      Can it make my body look like Alyssa’s too?? W(h)en THAT happens… I am all in!

  • Courtney August 14, 2013 - 8:47 am Reply

    I’ve never used Ren (or Wen) but my hair gets very oily and I only use conditioner on the bottom of my hair. I don’t put any on the crown. Like, if you put your hair in a low pony tail, only put conditioner from the hair tie down. It has helped keep the oily hair at bay. Try it and see what you think.

  • Brittany Lynne Borden August 14, 2013 - 10:52 am Reply

    I tried the Ren once. It was like rosemary mint or something. All the menthol in it really dried and irritated my scalp. Plus, I have beyond shoulder length really thick hair. I practically had to use the entire bottle.

    Try Evercreme by L’Oreal. It’s sulfate free and smells amazing. It turned my dry, damaged, and dyed beyond all recognition hair into something soft and lovely… like a sweater made out of cats.

  • Jessica August 14, 2013 - 12:56 pm Reply

    I developed a sulfate allergy after my third kid, because of course I did. I tried using conditioner to wash, but I also have oil slick hair and even after three weeks it looked like crap. I went to Sally Beauty and bought some sulfate-free shampoo and my hair looks much better. Plus I don’t itch like I have lice anymore.

  • Girl Who Cried Skinny August 14, 2013 - 5:16 pm Reply

    it just looks to me (both yours and hers) like something that is going to puff out above the braid at some point.

  • Kristen Roedner August 14, 2013 - 5:49 pm Reply

    I tried Ren as well a few months back…it greased me up like I hadn’t ‘pooed in weeks. Nas. Tay.
    Anyway, I think with that (greasy) hairdo you look like a princess that Kurt Cobain would have wooed. Just sayin’.

  • Christine August 14, 2013 - 7:14 pm Reply

    I’ve used the real wen for years. You might need to use more stuff to get your hair clean. And I’ve also heard that when you stop with the shampoo and use more “natural” stuff it takes some time for your hair to stop over working making the oils that the shampoo washes away. Definately worth going to qvc and buying, in my opinion

  • Robyn Elizabeth Oickle August 14, 2013 - 8:35 pm Reply

    I use Mane n Tale shampoo and Conditioner! It can be found at Sallys or in walmarts (unfortunatly in the pet section cause its safe for them) but my hair has never been cleaner or softer! You just need to make sure you use the conditioner with it as the shampoo strips all the chemicals our of your hair literally making it squeeky clean!

    • Christina Jacobs August 18, 2013 - 6:04 pm Reply

      It’s in the pet section because it was originally designed for horses, that’s why it’s called Mane ‘n Tail!

  • Ally August 14, 2013 - 10:03 pm Reply

    GODDAMNIT I hate this new layout.

    • Pintester August 14, 2013 - 10:06 pm Reply

      Err… Not exactly constructive criticism there, sport. If you could tell me what the problem is, maybe I could help. Or if you just want to swear and scream, I am totally on board with that, too. Sometimes it’s really the best thing to do. πŸ˜‰ FUCK! SHIT! TIT! COCK!

      • A. B. England August 15, 2013 - 9:48 am Reply

        With the overload of images, it takes forever to load now, especially on the landing page. Also, I’m not sure if this is a trait brought on by your ad widget or a side effect of the amount of memory demanded by the images, but it has a tendency to “flash” for several seconds to a couple of minutes every time you load a page. Every now and again, this can cause a jump up or down on the page if you were scrolling and can lead to clicking on a link you didn’t want, which starts the slow loading and flashing issue all over again.

        While it does look nice once the page finally finishes loading, I think you might have gone just a tad overboard on the bells and whistles. For the purposes of usability, simplicity and “clean design” tend to be best, especially in this day and age where so many use mobile devices with limited working memory.

        • Pintester August 15, 2013 - 8:23 pm Reply

          Is this happening on a tablet or a phone or both? (I have a potential solution possibly lined up for mobile devices, so hang tight.)

          • A. B. England August 15, 2013 - 8:39 pm


      • ChickieD August 15, 2013 - 12:33 pm Reply

        I miss your old tagline. I wish there were some way to just tastefully edit it so that it bypassed people’s work browsers that don’t like the F word. Maybe like “F wording up pins so you don’t have to,” or “Fracking up pins so you don’t have too” (see how I got all Battlestar Gallactica there), or “Freaking pins up so you don’t have to.” (More After School Specially).

      • Barter Julie August 16, 2013 - 5:53 pm Reply

        So constructive criticism here. Using on desk top high speed internet windows 7 page takes forever to load now and jumps all over the place until it does. Still catching and hopping 7 minutes later. Does not stop me from checking it out every time cause Love your work it’s tits, but it is rather irritating Damn it all. As for the hair try Aveeno hair products my once dried out horse tail of a head of long hair is soft, shiny and not greasy. I use it everyday cause I have to or I can not function knowing my hair is dirty all day long. I vote fracking!

    • Gina August 15, 2013 - 8:18 pm Reply

      I like the new layout. It has always loaded fine for me on both my laptop and my phone.
      I love the blog and I read every post. πŸ™‚

      • Pintester August 15, 2013 - 8:22 pm Reply

        I just want to LICK you guys when you tell me stuff like this. Squee! Thanks for being a super-fan!

  • Caroline August 15, 2013 - 2:19 pm Reply

    Long time reader, I never comment cause I’m too cool for school.
    Ren (Wen) is a great hair product, but its not to be used everyday. What I mean by that is you’re not supposed to wash your hair everyday. Your scalp will take a week or two to adjust, but once it does your hair will be healthier and take longer to go all greasy on you. You’ll no longer be able to grease the chain on your bike with your hair, but it will be shiny and pretty longer!
    P.S. If you work out and get sweaty, wash your hair that day. Don’t be like my brother when he was 13. Everyone appreciates a shower after a workout!

  • Kangatush August 16, 2013 - 1:06 pm Reply

    You may have products named like a cartoon Chihuahua, but I think that’s better than using the real stuff. Wen: A harmless cyst, especially on the scalp or face, containing the fatty secretion of a sebaceous gland. Do people not have Google when they name their products?

  • Amanda August 16, 2013 - 1:58 pm Reply

    Deep condition your hair for a few hours or over night using Coconut Oil. It works really well πŸ™‚ Of course, that’s if you’re okay with feeling like you have greasy chihuahua hair? Along with that, “Hemp” (Naturelle brand) is a great conditioner to use. I only buy mine from my local Ross because I’m cheap like that.

  • Jess August 16, 2013 - 2:17 pm Reply

    I realize this is a bit low-tech, but I just use Dove Intense Repair Shampoo and Conditioner (all over my hair, not just the ends). It’s on sale at Rite Aid or CVS basically all the time. I have really dry hair that hates everything and that… works for me. I don’t believe in the whole not-shampooing thing, because I would be a disgusting grease-monger and no one would want to be around me. Also, I would know that my hair was dirty. YMMV.

  • Denise Plank August 16, 2013 - 4:36 pm Reply

    I actually think your hair looks really shiny and pretty.

  • Megan August 16, 2013 - 9:46 pm Reply

    I use Wen and its amazing, order it off QVC, it’s cheaper. But really, you need to try it.

    • Kim Bair August 19, 2013 - 10:58 pm Reply

      Yes! I couldn’t agree more!

  • Christina @ Hair Romance August 17, 2013 - 10:01 am Reply

    I am so excited that you chose my pin to test! I think you did a pretty good job too! With clear elastics you would definitely look like a princess πŸ™‚
    Can’t really advise about the Wen/Ren as I haven’t tried it. I prefer sulfate free shampoos for dry or curly hair. They are much gentler and won’t dry your hair out like regular shampoo.

  • Charlene M. Benton August 17, 2013 - 6:29 pm Reply

    Aveda….the best….

  • LauraG August 18, 2013 - 12:29 pm Reply

    Professional Hair Stylist here. Any product you purchase that is advertised a lot or you purchase from a drug store is made with low quality ingredients. These manufacturers budgets are used to hire Qwen Stefani or Eva Mendes to tell you to purchase there product. When a hair professional tells you to purchase a shampoo and conditioner from them they are telling you what’s best to use on your hair. Ever wonder why are hair looks so good? It’s because we invest in quality products and take care of it properly. So visit your hair stylist and ask them what they think you should use and buy it! Also if your scalp and hair are dry a Wen like product could be ok for you but if get greasy easily you need to use something with a cleansing agent.

  • Melissa August 26, 2013 - 2:04 am Reply

    I used Wen (for a week!) and it destroyed my hair. My stylist almost had a heart attack when she saw the damage. Always, always ask your stylist, and buy pro products – it’s worth it!

  • Mollie Moses September 1, 2013 - 12:33 pm Reply

    You can get the clear hair elastics at the local beauty supply place. There are several around town.

    Also, the “optimal” braid uses more hair, and a looser technique, than you used. If you do that, and then tuck the banded ends under the loose braid, and pin them with a couple of the plastic pins that I swear by (not at), you will have picture-perfect results.
    Let’s try it some time.

  • French Roll Twist and Pin Braid | Pintester September 20, 2013 - 9:32 am Reply

    […] The first braid went mostly as planned, although I still don’t have little clear rubber bands. […]

  • ThetaSigma October 15, 2013 - 12:14 pm Reply

    My sense of proper hair may be dulled by my sister — she has long hair but NEVER washes it, so I’m used to seeing pretty gross long hair — but it looks fine in the pic! I speak as one of the laziest hair-washers too. I had to schedule a hair-wash night to make sure I wash it once a week (I am now at like 2-3 times a week, when I remember and give a fuck, which is not often. Luckily, I have very short hair).

  • JonasandDelice Herum December 18, 2013 - 11:31 pm Reply

    I want to help you try it again!! I swear we can make it work! Agreed with other commenters about small/clear elastics, and bobby pins, I’m telling you they are magic!!! Don’t give up on your hair! It’s so pretty!

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